Inspector Clouseau: Let me bring you up to speed... We know nothing. You are now up to speed.
Earl Devereaux: Why can't you be more like my son, Cal?
Cal Deveraux: 'Sup.
John Dillinger: They ain't tough enough, smart enough or fast enough. I can hit any bank I want, any time. They got to be at every bank, all the time.
Anna McDoogles: I was just masturbating.
Mark Bellison: That... Makes me think of your vagina.
Hermione Granger: She's only interested in you because she thinks you're the Chosen One.
Harry Potter: But I AM the Chosen One.
Richter: You said they'd be killed publicly.
Robert Langdon: Yes, revenge. For La Purga.
Richter: La Purga?
Robert Langdon: Oh geez, you guys don't even read your own history do you? 1668, the church kidnapped four Illuminati scientists and branded each one of them on the chest with the symbol of the cross. To 'purge' them of their sins and they executed them, threw their bodies in the street as a warning to others to stop questioning church ruling on scientific matters. They radicalized them. The Purga created a darker, more violent Illuminati, one bent on... On retribution.
Blanche Gunderson: And that's okay? It's okay to pull the rug out from under folks as long as it's nobody that you know? It's okay because we're just silly podunk Minnesotans, right? We talk funny and we ice-fish and we scrapbook and we drag Jesus into regular conversation. We're not cool like you, right? So we don't matter.
Kristin: Would you rather be dead or live the rest of your life without your soul mate?
Lex Luthor: You can't touch me. We're on American soil now. And I am the president.
Superman: Consider yourself impeached.
The Girl: He wants to make me dead.
Larry Daley: This is the Smithsonian! This is the big leagues!
Jennifer: You brought his insulin. I was gonna do it.
Sandino: Well, now you don't have to.
Jennifer: Why are you so nice to us?
Sandino: I don't understand that question.
Jennifer: You nice, why?
Sandino: Why not? You shold expect people to be nice to you. You shouldn't expect people to be mean.
Jennifer: Not in ths world.
Sandino: You get what you expect, right?
Jennifer: I guess.
Sandino: You do a great job with your brothers.
Jennifer: I'm all they got.
Allan Baxter: This is unacceptable. I want that commander on report.
US Sub Captain: That commander just saved your ass.
Allan Baxter: Should have done so in a more timely manner.
Anna Taylor: I thought when you died you wouldn't feel any more pain. You wouldn't have struggles any more. But it just never stops, does it?
Jennifer Check: I feel so scrumptious!
Ed Oswald: My granddaddy used to work down there. One time, him and two of his buddies broke into a whole new cave system. Really big. Company bosses figured there should be some rick picking to be had, so they sent my granddaddy back down to have a look-see. He never come back. Folks reckoned they must've broke clean through into hell. The devil was mighty pissed.
Cassie Holmes: We don't ask to be special, we're just born that way.