Mark Whitacre: Paranoid is what they call you when they want you to drop your guard.
Natalie Keener: He broke up with me by text message.
Ryan Bingham: Wow. That's kind of like getting fired over the Internet.
Susie Salmon: My name is Salmon, like the fish. First name, Susie. I was fourteen years old when I was murdered on December 6th,1973. I wasn't gone. I was alive in my own perfect world. But in my heart, I knew it wasn't perfect. My murderer still haunted me. My father had the pieces but he couldn't make them fit. I waited for justice but justice did not come.
Harry Brown: I don't reckon you've got long. Seen that before. Gut wound. The slug's probably torn right through your liver. Mate of mine in Ulster got caught in sniper fire. Bullet blew his inside out. He screamed for a good 10 minutes. We couldn't send a medic in, the section was too hot. So we all took cover... And watched him die. I've never told that... To anyone... You should've called an ambulance... For the girl.
Jane: I like a lot of semen, always have.
Max Jerry Horovitz: People often think I am tactless and rude. I cannot understand how being honest can be improper. Maybe this is why I don't have any friends.
John Dillinger: They ain't tough enough, smart enough or fast enough. I can hit any bank I want, any time. They got to be at every bank, all the time.
Hermione Granger: She's only interested in you because she thinks you're the Chosen One.
Harry Potter: But I AM the Chosen One.
Richter: You said they'd be killed publicly.
Robert Langdon: Yes, revenge. For La Purga.
Richter: La Purga?
Robert Langdon: Oh geez, you guys don't even read your own history do you? 1668, the church kidnapped four Illuminati scientists and branded each one of them on the chest with the symbol of the cross. To 'purge' them of their sins and they executed them, threw their bodies in the street as a warning to others to stop questioning church ruling on scientific matters. They radicalized them. The Purga created a darker, more violent Illuminati, one bent on... On retribution.
Anna McDoogles: I was just masturbating.
Mark Bellison: That... Makes me think of your vagina.
Joyce Klaven: Peter always connected better with women.
Zooey: You know, I can see that because he is a great boyfriend.
Peter Klaven: Thank you fiancee.
Oswald Klaven: Also, you got to understand, Zooey, Peter matured sexually at a very early age. I remember taking him swimming when he was twelve-years-old, kid had a bush like a forty-year-old Serbian.
Peter Klaven: Oh come on!
Cassie Holmes: We don't ask to be special, we're just born that way.
Charlie Nash: His name's Bison. I've tracked him through eleven major cities on four continents and never come close, not once. This guy walks through the raindrops. Anybody that's against him is either dead, or on their way.
Blanche Gunderson: And that's okay? It's okay to pull the rug out from under folks as long as it's nobody that you know? It's okay because we're just silly podunk Minnesotans, right? We talk funny and we ice-fish and we scrapbook and we drag Jesus into regular conversation. We're not cool like you, right? So we don't matter.
Clerk: [slides card.] Declined.
Rebecca Bloomwood: Can you try again?
Clerk: [slides it again.] Really declined.
Dug: My master made me this collar. He is a good and smart master and he made me this collar so that I can talk. Squirrel!.My master is good and smart.
Carl: It's not possible!
Dug: It is, because my master is smart.
Journalist: How would you define your approach to management, apart from being brilliant?
Brian Clough: Good lad.
Angus: What about this? What about this situation right here? Can't fuck your way out of this one, can you Mark?