Nacho: I was wondering if you would like to join me in my quarters this night... for some toast.
Slevin: How do you justify being a rabbi... and a gangster?
The Rabbi: I don't. I'm a bad man who doesn't waste time wondering what could've been when I am what could've been and what could not have been. I live on both sides of the fence. My grass is always green. Consider, Mr. Fisher... there are two men sitting here before you, and one of them you should be very afraid of. Where's my money?
Big Bob: Bobby, leave Doug alone. He's a democrat. He doesn't believe in guns.
Boatyard Woman: Guys who drink Kahlua and cream are not power guys, honey.
Cassie Munro: Mom, some idiot just parked this ugly RV outside our house.
Jamie Munro: What?
Cassie Munro: Oh, my God, it's your husband.
Pierre Dulaine: To do something, anything, is hard. It's much easier to blame your father, your mother, the environment, the government, the lack of money, but even if you find a place to assign the blame, it doesn't make the problems go away.
Melissa: God, his hand. What happened?
Richie: You mean The Claw?
Tye: Leprosy.
Richie: I heard chihuahua attack.
Louis XVI: Ooooh! Your feet are like icicles.
Lorenzo Council: Kiss my ass, brotherfucker.
Rachel Carlson: Why is it everyone paints their boats the exact same color as their houses?
Angus McCulloch: Well, that's actually a tradition here. The wife needs to be able to look out on the water and know her husband's okay.
Rachel Carlson: That's very romantic.
Angus McCulloch: And we also get a tax-break on the paint, which is also very romantic.
Dusty: Why do they call it PMS? Because Mad Cow was already taken.
Mike: I believe God's M.O. is to transmute evil into good and if He's active here, he's doing that now. Although our eyes can't perceive it. The whole process is hidden beneath the surface of our reality. It will only be revealed later. And even then, the people of the future, our children's children, will never truly know this awful time that we have gone through and the losses we took. Maybe some footnote in a minor history book, a brief mention with no list of the fallen.
Allison Jimeno: How am I supposed to tell Bianca that her father is dead?
Grandpa: A real loser is someone who's so afraid of not winning he doesn't even try.
Garfield: It's good to be king.
Chev Chelios: Don't pop a blood vessel, you little penis.
Joe: What happened to the blowtorch, Plug?
Plug: My dad just laughed at me.
HM Queen Elizabeth II: Nowadays people want glamor and tears, the grand performance. I've never been good at that.
Kee: Dylan. I'll call my baby Dylan. It's a girl's name, too.