Great Gam Gam: You two are the rightful heirs to the Von Wolfhausen Brewery. You should have the balls to take back what is yours.
Steve "Fink" Finklestein: Wow! You even talk like a whore.
Great Gam Gam: We are all whores in some ways.
Big Momma: This is a family beach, not Chippendales.
Aquamarine: But I've learned it's not where you are, it's who you're with.
Max Skinner: You tried to drown me.
Fanny Chenal: And you tried to run me over in your little car.
Jack MacReady: Move the fuck out of the way, cocksucker!
Mother with child: Howdy, Mayor.
Josie McBroom: Freakin' fantastic! Don't you see? None of us has to run away or turn ourselves in.
Charlie: What do you propose? We roam the country living on the land, like Bonnie and Clyde... and Clyde?
Cassie Munro: Mom, some idiot just parked this ugly RV outside our house.
Jamie Munro: What?
Cassie Munro: Oh, my God, it's your husband.
Dwayne: You know what? Fuck beauty contests. Life is one fucking beauty contest after another. You know, school, then college, then work, fuck that. And fuck the air force academy. If I wanna fly, I'll find a way to fly. You do what you love, and fuck the rest.
Frank: I'm glad you're talking again, Dwayne. You're not nearly as stupid as you look.
Gray: I love natural disasters. I want people to die in them. I am genuinely disappointed when the death toll is low.
JB: Now our masterpiece will never happen because we won't be fueled by Satan.
Randal Graves: Emma, are you like this 'cause you have an unnaturally large clit?
Emma: You just *had* to tell him, didn't ya?
Dante Hicks: It kinda came out one day!
Randal Graves: He says it's so big it's almost like a little cock, which says all kinds of weird things about him that I don't even wanna think about.
Jessica Wilhern: Penelope, just one man, one man.
Penelope: And he'll run too! They always run. Why can't you accept that? For seven years I've been watching them run. Do you have any idea how that makes me feel? Do you?
Jessica Wilhern: I'm sorry, but we just can't quit.
Penelope: We can, because no matter how much I want to believe there's one man who won't run away, one man who... who.
Tia Hall: Honey, the girls are having a great time showing everybody the lights. I pray to God that's the only thing they're showing.
Ben Willis: Once upon a time, I wanted to know what love was. Love is there if you want it to be. You just have to see that it's wrapped in beauty and hidden away in between the seconds of your life. If you don't stop for a minute, you might miss it.
Joe: What happened to the blowtorch, Plug?
Plug: My dad just laughed at me.