Madea's Family Reunion (2006)

Vanessa: You are going to rot in hell.
Victoria: I vacation there.

Mable 'Madea' Simmons: Aunt Ruby's 96 years old, she needs to see her family.

Victoria: My mother was a real whore and a junkie, and she traded me for $10 and a fix.

Joe: We don't want it. Return to sender.
Mable 'Madea' Simmons: I remember I sent you somewere too and you came back with something. It still itching?
Joe: Yo' momma. Aw hell that's my momma too.

Lisa: He hits me.
Victoria: When?
Lisa: Often.
Victoria: Well, you must stop doing what you're doing to make him angry.
Lisa: What?
Victoria: Women sometimes have to deal with things to be comfortable.

Carlos: Can we have a moment alone?
Mable 'Madea' Simmons: In my house? Hell no.

May: Love is many things. It's varied. One thing it is not and can never be is unsure.

Mable 'Madea' Simmons: I told you, you don't know how to lie. What kinda lawyer don't know how to lie? Lie and lawyer go together lie-awyer... lie-awyer.

Mable 'Madea' Simmons: You know I only go to church for two reasons, weddings and funerals, which one we gonna have today?

Judge Ephriam: You're her foster mother or you're a prison mother.
Mable 'Madea' Simmons: I'll take prison for 200, Alex.

Ruby: Take me outside, I want to see my family.