Bruce: I hope you realize you've just committed assault.
Henry Desalvo: I know, I know. Time was, you actually had to hit somebody.
Lanie: I met a homeless guy and he had a vision.
Cal: What like Espn?
Lanie: No, he had ESP! There's no N.
Eddie Griffin: You know, high school's a lot like prison. Bad food, high fences. The sex you want you ain't gettin', and the sex you getting you don't want.
Adina: I have a FAT ass.
Undercover Brother: You mess with the 'fro, you got to go.
Jake Hayes: Does it play DVDs?
Seale: No. It's a portable thermonucular (sic) bomb.
Fred: Mr. Mononucleosis, we have hit a clue smorgasboard.
Lorne Daniels: Nobody wants you, not even the Clippers.
Agent K: Is that standard?
Agent J: No it came with a black dude, but he kept getting pulled over.
Snowbell: You've got guts, kid! And you've got spunk! Not to mention moxy! You've got guts, spunk, and moxy.
Van Wilder: I know Ms Pacman is special. She's cute...she's fun...she swallows.
Tracey Reynolds: Calvin, I think you should stick to basketball. You know why? You can't rap.
Pero: Please, your honor I'm here to confess. That man is innocent. Your honor I can no longer live with the guilt. It was me who was stealing that car, I confess. My brother Cosimo, Saint Cosimo as he's known on the streets, was only trying to stop me. And I told him, 'Cosimo, I need to steal this car, I'm a car thief, I steal cars... by myself.'.
Game Show Host: And how about you, Bachelor #3? What's the most unusual place that you ever made love?
Bachelor #3: Inside a woman.
Alan A. Allen: I am an inventor, Patrick. An inventor of machines.
Marco Zuluaga: Love is the saddest thing when it goes away, as a song by Jobim goes.
Barry: I wanted to ask you something because you're a doctor... I don't like myself sometimes. Can you help me?
Walter: Barry, I'm a dentist. What kind of help do you think I could give you?
