Sean Bateman: I just want to know you.
Lauren: Nobody knows anyone. You will never ever know me.
Paul Denton: I watched him with growing intensity as he refilled the pipe in the dark and smokey din of the room. He delicately fingered what looked like dried moss to me, and it struck me then that I liked Sean because he looked, well, slutty. A boy who'd been around. A boy who couldn't remember if he was Catholic or not.
Lara: It's amazing how much weight you lose when you go off The Pill.
Lauren: Which is nothing compared to the fifty pounds you gain when you get knocked up.
Donald: Need I remind you we have somebody OD-ing back here?
Paul Denton: He's not OD-ing. He's a freshman. Freshmen don't OD.
Paul Denton: I feel like my life lacks forward momentum, ya know.
Mrs. Mimi Jared: Well..."Dick " how is school?
Richard "Dick" Jared: Sucks cock-k-k.
Rupert: You want some coke?
Sean Bateman: Um. Sure.
Rupert: Then buy some of your own, bitch.
Sean Bateman: Since when does fucking somebody else mean that I'm not faithful to you?
Mitchell: Hehe yeah. Old enough to pee, old enough for me.
Sean Bateman: I only had sex with her because I'm in love with you.
Lauren: Abstinence is 100% safe, which is less of a percentage than.
Lara: Whatever, I don't care, I don't major in math.
Lara: You really think I'm skinny? Wait - anorexic skinny or bulimic skinny?
Mrs. Mimi Jared: And what classes are you taking... Dick?
Dick: Ummm, gangbang 101, Freebase Tutorial, and Oral Sex Workshop.
Dr. Phibes, Waiting Room Doctor: Harry's gone bye-bye, he's gone to the big bye-bye. He's got his name in the papers on the back side. It's "Toe Tag Time in Teenville Tonight." Again. Should've just said no, Harry.
Harry: I'm not dead am I?
Dr. Phibes, Waiting Room Doctor: Actually, you don't have a pulse. I think you're dead.
Sean Bateman: Rock and roll.