Freddie: Barry! You fuckin' ponce! You think you can just smash my machines?
Barry Ryan: Freddy, you fuckin' ferret. I jus' did, didn' I?
Rachel: I'm with B.N.S.
Kelly Robinson: Yeah, what's B.N.S. stand for? Bitch that Needs some Slapping?
Randolph Grady: You know, I could help you study.
Starla Grady: Yeah and what's the catch?
Randolph Grady: No catch, you just gotta be nice to me for the rest of my life.
Starla Grady: Ha! I should have known you'd exploit this for emotional blackmail. That's just mean you... user.
Suzette: Ever heard of Frank Zappa?
Harry: Sure. The Mothers of Invention.
Suzette: Wow. Very good Harry. Well, he named us. The Banger Sisters.
Harry: But you weren't really sisters.
Suzette: No.
Harry: Good 'cause I wouldn't have been comfortable if you were sisters.
Suzette: You're not comfortable now, Harry.
Milan: One guy can't take two on, except in the movies.
Dave: Your mama's got no teeth and that's perfect for her line of work.
Ben Carpenter: C'mon, you mother. Come to papa.
Trailer Trash Thumb: A lot of kids were disappearing in the woods, all mysterious like. And people thought it might be... David Copperfield. In a stage show, he took a llama and put it in a box. He closed the box and spinned it around. He opened up the box. There's no llama! And you don't see that every day, there's a llama here, llama gone. Llama, no llama. Just chills you to the bones.
Eddie: This is football we're talking about here, which you call bananas and you're reluctant to play it. But you play baseball, the World Series. You've won every year, America's won every year in that. Well done America.
Catherine: Oh, eww, this arugal is so bitter! It'l like my algebra teacher on my bread.
Nadine: I read somewhere once that everything in life happens in threes. And that there are two kinds of people, the ones that think three's the charm and the ones that think in three strikes you're out.
Joe Snow: If I lived to be 102, I would never forget the time the Muppets almost missed Christmas, it was a.
Muppet Director: Hey, hold it! Cut! What are you doing here?
Joe Snow: Why, I'm Joe Snow, your admirable, good natured narrator.
Muppet Director: Snowman narrator? There ain't nothin' in here that says anything about a snowman narrator. Get out of here, you Burl Ives wannabe.
Tim: Are you with me here, altar boy?
Mr. Burke: Shaun! I read your story. You used a lot of big words. Great! Good for you! It was a little long, so I didn't read the whole thing, but who cares 'cause I gave you an A.
Carla: Everything here is by the book.
Kelly Collins: Thanks for the warning Carla, but I would really like to try and retain my individuality around here.