Peter Gibbons: What would you do if you had a million dollars?
Lawrence: I'll tell you what I'd do, man, two chicks at the same time, man.
Peter Gibbons: That's it? If you had a million dollars, you'd do two chicks at the same time?
Lawrence: Damn straight. I always wanted to do that, man. And I think if I had a million dollars I could hook that up, cause chicks dig a dude with money.
Peter Gibbons: Well, not all chicks.
Lawrence: Well the kind of chicks that'd double up on a dude like me do.
Peter Gibbons: Good point.
Lawrence: Well what about you now? what would you do?
Peter Gibbons: Besides two chicks at the same time?
Lawrence: Well yeah.
Peter Gibbons: Nothing.
Lawrence: Nothing, huh?
Peter Gibbons: I'd relax, I would sit on my ass all day, I would do nothing.
Lawrence: Well you don't need a million dollars to do nothing, man. Just take a look at my cousin, he's broke, don't do shit.
Rafe: Ma'am, I'm never gonna be an English teacher, but I know why I'm here, to be a pilot, and you don't dogfight with manuals, you don't fly with gauges, I mean it's all about feeling and speed and lettin' that plane become like it's a part of your body, and that manual says that a guy who's a slow reader can't be a good pilot... That file says I'm the *best* pilot in this room... Ma'am, please... Don't take my wings.
Ted: I couldn't believe that she knew my name. Some of my best friends didn't know my name.
Young Shirley Valentine: Well, tickle my tits 'til Friday.
Michaleen Flynn: None 'o that now, none 'o that. It's a bold sinful man y'are Sean Thornton. And who taught you to be playin' patty-fingers in the Holy Water?
Thornton: Just bein' polite, is all.
Natalie: Hello, David. I mean "sir." Shit, I can't believe I've just said that. Oh, and now I've gone and said "shit" - twice. I'm so sorry, sir.
Prime Minister: It's fine, it's fine. You could've said "fuck", and then we'd have been in real trouble.
Natalie: Thank you, sir. I did have an awful premonition that I was going to fuck up on the first day. Oh, piss it!
Doctor Flamond: You see, a year ago, I was close to perfecting the first magnetic desalinization process so revolutionary, it was capable of removing the salt from over 500 million gallons of seawater a day. Do you realize what that could mean to the starving nations of the earth?
Nick Rivers: Wow. They'd have enough salt to last forever.
Tracy: He was crippled, but only his body was cracked. It's not simple, nor is it an easy matter to explain. "Let's just leave it at that," she says and closes the holy book of lies. She covers her eyes, denying to herself what she thought happened.
Chad Danforth: Have you ever seen Michael Crawford on a cereal box?
Troy Bolton: Who's Michael Crawford?
Chad Danforth: Exactly my point! He was the Phantom of the Opera on Broadway. Now, my mom, she's seen that musical 27 times and she put Michael Crawford's picture in our refrigerator. Not on it, in it. So, my point is if you play basketball, you're gonna end up on a cereal box. If you sing in musicals, you're gonna end up in my mom's refrigerator.
Troy Bolton: Why would she put his picture in her refrigerator?
Chad Danforth: One of her crazy diet ideas! Look, I don't have time to understand the female mind, Troy!
Olive Penderghast: Whatever happened to chivalry? Does it only exist in 80's movies? I want John Cusack holding a boombox outside my window. I wanna ride off on a lawnmower with Patrick Dempsey. I want Jake from Sixteen Candles waiting outside the church for me. I want Judd Nelson thrusting his fist into the air because he knows he got me. Just once I want my life to be like an 80's movie, preferably one with a really awesome musical number for no apparent reason. But no, no, John Hughes did not direct my life.
Peter: There's no-one like you, Covey.
Terry: Time flies.
Gatsby Welles: Yes, unfortunately, it flies coach.
Terry: What's that supposed to mean?
Gatsby Welles: It's not always a comfortable trip.
Motormouth Maybelle: [to Seaweed and Penny.] Oh, so this is love? [She pauses and then smiles.] Well, love is a gift, a lot of people don't remember that. So, you two better brace yourselves for a whole lotta ugly comin' at you from a neverending parade of stupid.
Penny Pingleton: [Totally serious.] So, you've met my mom?
Clerk: Do you swear on the Constitution of the United States to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you God?
Jive Man: Ain't no thing.
Defense Attorney: Would you describe, in your own words, what happened that night?
Jive Man: Check it, bleed. Bro was on! Didn't trip. But the folks was freakin', man. Hey, and the pilots were laid to the bones, Homes. So Blood hammered out and jammed jet ship. Tightened that bad sucker inside the runway like a mother. Shit.
Vivian: Oh...Look honey, I have a runner in my pantyhose. Oops! I'm not wearing panty hose!
Woman at elevator: Shut your mouth, dear.
Donna: I grew up.
Tanya: Well, grow back down then!
Genie: I made you look like a prince on the outside, but I didn't change anything on the inside. Prince Ali got you to the door, but Aladdin has to open it.
Harry Stamper: You got any more bullets in that gun, Sharp?