Deb: What are you drawing?
Napoleon Dynamite: A liger.
Deb: What's a liger?
Napoleon Dynamite: It's pretty much my favorite animal. It's like a lion and a tiger mixed... Bred for its skills in magic.
Alice: Where is this love? I can't see it, I can't touch it. I can't feel it. I can hear it. I can hear some words, but I can't do anything with your easy words.
Ernest Tucker: The funny thing about that little white speck on the top of chicken shit. That little white speck is chicken shit too.
Principal Jane Masterson: You can plunder my dungeon anytime.
Ned Gold: I'll bring my longbow.
Bride: May you never steal, lie, or cheat, but if you must steal, then steal away my sorrows, and if you must lie, lie with me all the nights of my life, and if you must cheat, then please cheat death because I couldn't live a day without you. Cheers!
Tiffany: I was a slut. There will always be a part of me that is dirty and sloppy, but I like that, just like all the other parts of myself. I can forgive. Can you say the same for yourself, fucker? Can you forgive? Are you capable of that?
Ron Burgundy: Last time I looked in the dictionary, my name's Ron Burgundy. What's your name?
Brian Fantana: Brian Fantana.
Champ Kind: Champ Kind.
Brick Tamland: Brian Fantana.
Brian Fantana: No, you're Brick.
Brick Tamland: Brian.
Brian Fantana: I'm Brian.
Brick Tamland: Veronica.
Hitch: I just know that I want to be... Miserable. Like, *really* miserable. But hey, if that's what it takes for me to be happy, then... Wait, that didn't come out right.
Olaf: I can't feel my legs! I can't feel my legs!
Kristoff: Those are my legs.
Astrid Young Teo: It was never my job to make you feel like a man. I can't make you something you're not.
[Trying to name other couples like Kirk and Molly.]
Devon: The president of France and that girl who went out with Mick Jagger.
Stainer: He knows about wine! And he has a French accent! He could probably french-kiss like a motherfucker.
Jay Gatsby: I knew it was a great mistake for a man like me to fall in love.
Margaret Tate: If you touch my ass one more time I will cut your balls off in your sleep, okay?
Dr. Stephen Fleming: It takes a remarkably short time to withdraw from the world. I traveled... until I arrived at a life of my own. What really makes us is beyond grasping. It's way beyond knowing. We give in to love... because it gives us some sense of what is unknowable. Nothing else matters, not at the end.
Chad Danforth: You got game?
Ryan Evans: A little.
Amanda: You know, I was just thinking why would I ever leave before New Year's Eve? That makes no sense at all. I mean, you didn't exactly ask me out... but you did say you loved me... so I'm thinking I've got a date. If you'll have me.
Graham: I have the girls New Year's Eve.
Amanda: Sounds perfect.
Girl Patient: My mom's last boyfriend was bald. He was nice, but she didn't marry him.
Kate: No?
Girl Patient: There's always something better coming around the corner. That's what she says.
Kate: If she's not careful, she can spend her whole life waiting.
Maya: Arf arf arf arf.
Max: Arf Arf.
Addie: Yes, they got mighty well-off cheating the poor. Well, there's people that eats up the whole Earth and all the people on it. Like in the Bible with the locusts. Then there's people that stand around and watch them do it. Sometimes I think it ain't right to stand and watch them do it.
Horace Giddens: There's something else in the Bible, Addie. Take us the foxes... the little foxes that spoil the vines... for our vines have tender grapes.