Napoleon Dynamite: [Reading current event to class.] Last week, Japanese scientists "explaced" - placed explosive detonators at the bottom of Lake Loch Ness... To blow Nessie out of the water... Sir Curt Godfrey of the Nessie Alliance. Summoned the help of Scotland's local wizards to cast a protective spell over the lake and its local residents. And all those who seek for the peaceful existence of our underwater ally.
Napoleon Dynamite: You know, there's like a buttload of gangs at this school. This one gang kept wanting me to join 'cause I'm pretty good with a bow staff.
Napoleon Dynamite: I like your sleeves. They're real big.
Deb: Thank you. I made them myself.
Principal Svadean: Look, Pedro, I don't know how they do things down in Juarez, but here in Idaho we have a little something called pride. Understand? Smashing in the face of a pinata that resembles Summer Wheatley is a disgrace to you, me, and the entire Gem State.
Rex: I'm Rex, founder of the Rex Kwan Do self-defense system! After one week with me in my dojo, you'll be prepared to defend yourself with the strength of a grizzly, the reflexes of a puma, and the wisdom of a man.