Sheldon: At this point, I should inform you that I intend to form my own team and destroy the very bonds that bind your very matter together and reduce the resulting particulate chaos to tears!
Leonard: Thanks for the heads up.
Sheldon: You're welcome. [Turns to leave.] One more thing,
Sheldon: It's on, bitch.
Sheldon: Every Saturday morning since we've lived in this apartment, I have awakened at 6:15, poured myself a bowl of cereal, added a quarter cup of 2% milk, sat on that end of that couch, turned on BBC America and watched Doctor Who.
Leonard: Penny's still sleeping.
[Sheldon stares at Penny for some time.]
Sheldon: Every Saturday since we've lived in this apartment.
Howard: I'm not signing a pre-nup.
Penny: Alright, Howard Wolowitz, listen up. You sign anything she puts in front of you because you are the luckiest man alive. If you let her go, there is no way you will be able to find anyone else. Speaking on behalf of all women, it is not going to happen, we had a meeting!
Sheldon: I was analyzing our lie and I believe we're in danger of Penny seeing through the ruse.
Sheldon: Simple: If she were to log on to SoCal physics group.org forward slash activities forward slash other, scroll down to seminars, download the PDF schedule, and look for the seminar on molecular positronium, well then, bippity boppity boo, our pants are metaphorically on fire!
Sheldon: May I point out that for eight long months, I suffered in silence as your female companion filled our apartment with her off key country music caterwauling, the unappetizing spectacle of grinding a pommel stone against her calloused feet in our living room, and night after night of uninformative TV documentaries about the Jersey Shore.
Leonard: Suffered in silence?
Sheldon: Yes, and I would expect you to do the same.
Leonard: Really? SILENCE!?
You may like...
Join the mailing list
Addresses are not passed on to any third party, and are used solely for direct communication from this site. You can unsubscribe at any time.