Joe: You did the only thing you could do. You behaved like a gentlemen.
Alfie: I've never been accused of that before.
Joe: Don't get all choked up. You also behaved like a scheming, back-stabbing, so low could look up a snake's asshole, son of a bitch. Next time think before you unzip.
Alfie: Alright, you screwed up. So what are you gonna do, hmm? Run to the bridge? The question is, what's gonna happen with the rest of your life.
Alfie: I never... I never meant.
Marlon: ...You never mean to hurt anybody.
Marlon: But you do, Alfie.
Alfie: It seems to me the problems you worry yourself sick about never seem to materialize. It's the ones that catch you unexpectedly on a Wednesday afternoon that knock you sideways.
Alfie: Personally, I've always suspected that everyone else is having a far merrier Christmas than I am.
Alfie: Whenever you meet a beautiful woman, just remember somewhere there's a man who's sick of shagging her.
Alexei Karenin: I consider jealously to be insulting to you and degrading to me. I have no right to inquire into your feelings. They concern only your conscience.
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