Vanellope von Schweetz: As your merciful princess I hereby decree that everyone who was ever mean to me shall be...executed.
Crowd of girls: What?!
Sergeant Calhoun: Well, this place just got interesting.
Steve Rogers: Is everything a joke to you?
Tony Stark: Funny things are.
Barnabas Collins: What is your age?
Carolyn Stoddard: Fifteen.
Barnabas Collins: Fifteen, and no husband? You must put those child-bearing hips to good use, lest your womb shrivel up and die.
Jackie Cogan: My friend, Thomas Jefferson is an American saint because he wrote the words 'All men are created equal', words he didn't believe since he allowed his own children to live in slavery. He's a rich white snob who's sick of paying taxes to the Brits. So, yeah, he writes some lovely words and aroused the rabble and they went and died for those words while he sat back and drank his wine and fucked his slave girl. This guy wants to tell me we're living in a community? Don't make me laugh. I'm living in America, and in America you're on your own. America's not a country. It's just a business. Now fuckin' pay me.
Charlie: Dad, can I have 30 dollars?
Father: 20 dollars? What do you need 10 dollars for?
Matthias: It it each man's quest to find out who he truly is but the answer to that lies in the present, not in the past. As it is for all of us.
Doug Quaid: But the past tells us who we've become.
Matthias: The past is a construct of the mind. It blinds us. It fools us into believing it. But the heart wants to live in the present. Look there. You'll find your answer.
Tiffany: I was a slut. There will always be a part of me that is dirty and sloppy, but I like that, just like all the other parts of myself. I can forgive. Can you say the same for yourself, fucker? Can you forgive? Are you capable of that?
Harling Mays: Oh, I almost forgot. I got you some stroke mags. I've been in the hospital before, I know what you need. I got Juggs, Hot MILFs in Heat, AssMasters. You just stroke it all day, you're a hero.
Barney Ross: That's how we deal with death. Can't change what it is so, we keep it light until it's time to get dark... and then we get pitch black. (00:53:55)
Peter Parker: We all have secrets: the ones we keep... And the ones that are kept from us.
Hans: As Gandhi said...'An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind'. I believe that whole heartedly.
Bill: No it doesn't. There'll be one guy left with one eye. How's the last blind guy going to take out the eye of the last guy left whose still got one eye left? All that guy has to do is run away and hide behind a bush. Ghandi was wrong. It's just that nobody's got the balls to come out and say it.
Narrator: Now if there's one thing you can be sure of, it's that nothing is more powerful than a young boy's wish. Except an Apache helicopter. An Apache helicopter has machine guns AND missiles. It is an unbelievably impressive complement of weaponry, an absolute death machine.
Bella Swan: You nicknamed my daughter after the Loch Ness Monster?
Peeta Mellark: I just keep wishing I could think of a way to show them that they don't own me. If I'm gonna die, I wanna still be me.
Katniss Everdeen: I just can't afford to think like that.
Cop 1: Well, look at this. Power windows, power seats. I bet you the thing cost 6 grand.
Agent J: Ah, yes, and it has a roof, but it's hidden.
Cop 2: Hey, what kind of work do you do? An individual of your... Particular ethic persuasion?
Agent J: Mmm...
Cop 1: Maybe he's a noted athlete.
Agent J: Mmmm! Yes. Starting forward for the Detroit Darkies.
Cop 1: Where'd you get the car?
Cop 2: And the suit?
Agent J: I stole them both. Uh, car from your wife, suit from your grandmother.
Vi Rose Hill: Quit it with those nails, Edward Scissorhands.
[The Easter Bunny comes out of the rabbit hole to arrive at The North Pole, looking heroic.]
Bunny: Oh, it's freezing!
Schmidt: When did I get stabbed? That's AWESOME!
Chris: I swear to God, Paul, it's a fucking hazard having you as a brother.