Uncle Vester: Whoa! My momma dead! Now I gotta cut ya! That's the rule, cut ya, cut ya.
Muriel: When I lived in Porpoise Spit, I used to sit in my room for hours and listen to abba songs. But since I've met you and moved to Sydney, I haven't listened to one Abba song. That's because my life is as good as an Abba song. It's as good as Dancing Queen.
Honda: I'm sumo, brother. My body could be in one place, my mind another.
Balrog: Next time your mind leaves, tell it to bring back a pizza.
Kellie Frost: I don't like Bull Riders... They're little men with big egos. Besides, he's got one of them skinny butts like the rest of em'.
Kelly's Mom: Honey, I judge a man more by the size of his heart then his rear... It's likely to do you more good.
FBI Agent Dale Grissom: You're surrounded! Throw down the Boo Boo and put your hands over your head.
The Judge: Deciding what is true and what isn't now seems to me...a lack of modesty.
Valentine: Vanity?
The Judge: Vanity.
Mario Ruoppolo: Your smile spreads like a butterfly.
Koga Shuko: I just want total domination of one major American City! Is that too much to ask for!? Is it? Is it? Huh?
Kris: If you can't learn to accept ANYTHING on faith, then you are doomed for a life dominated by doubt.
Officer Sam 'Mad Dog' Shaw: Where you guys from, Texas?
Pepper: Texas? Ain't no real cowboys from Texas, we're from New Mexico.
Blue Genie: Giddy up, slowpoke, what's keeping you?
Aladdin 'Al': Nothing. Well, something, but I'll tell you later.
George Knox: You're Roger's mom?
Maggie Nelson: Nope.
George Knox: Aunt? Grandma?
Maggie Nelson: No, we're not related. This is a short-term foster care facility, I run it. Roger is a ward of the state.
George Knox: I see. So Roger, he's got a wild imagination? Always coming up with stories?
Maggie Nelson: No actually, he's very grounded. Truth is most kids who are taken away from their parents by the court system, have a good handle on reality.
Roy: Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, so sayeth the Psalms.
Judge Harry Roosevelt: That's Proverbs 12:22.
Molly: My daddy doesn't think she's in heaven.
Corrina Washington: Well, that's probably just because your daddy is so jealous of the angels. He's so jealous, he can't even stand to think about those angels who get to play with your mommy all day long. And he's hurting just like you're hurting, and you're going to hurt for a long time. Every day it'll get a little better, but you'll always miss your mommy, and that's okay.
Lestat: Listen, Louis. There's life in these old hands still. Not quite Furioso. Moderato? Cantabile, perhaps.
Claudia: How can it be?
Lestat: Ask the alligator. His blood helped. Then on a diet of the blood of snakes, toads, and all the putrid life of the Mississippi, slowly, Lestat became something like himself again. Claudia... You've been a very, very, naughty little girl.
Maverick: Well, now, I bring all sorts of plusses to the table. I hardly ever bluff and I never ever cheat.
Mickey: The media is like the weather, only it's man-made weather.
Peter: This guy, by the way, could be the biggest loser who ever walked the face of the earth. He could be a grump, a jerk, a pervert, a cynic, a man who's mind is infested with dark thoughts, he could be a criminal... he could be... truly sick.