Carlos: You son of a bitch! How could you do this? Friendship is the only choice in life you can make that's yours! You can't choose your family, God damn it - I've had to face that! And no man should be judged for whatever direction his dick goes - that's like blaming a compass for pointing north, for Christ's sake! Friendship is all we have! We chose each other. How could you fuck it up? How could you make us look so bad?
Rev. Brown: I got a special treat for ya' this evening, a young man that you all know as Joe the Policeman from the "What's Going Down" episode of "That's My Momma." I want you to put your hands together, and welcome him to the stage. Big round of applauds for Jackson Heights own, Mr. Randy Watson, YES! Randy Watson.
Willow: What are you doing?
Madmartigan: I found some blackroot. She loves it.
Willow: Blackroot? I am the father of two children and you never, ever give a baby blackroot.
Madmartigan: Well my mother raised us on blackroot. It's good for you. Puts hair on your chest. Doesn't it, Sticks?
Willow: Her name is not Sticks. She's Elora Danan, the future empress of Tir Asleen and the last thing she's gonna want is a hairy chest.
Heather Chandler: Well, fuck me gently with a chainsaw. Do I look like Mother Teresa?
Crash Davis: This son of a bitch is throwing a two-hit shutout. He's shaking me off. You believe that shit? Charlie, here comes the deuce. And when you speak of me, speak well.
Jane: How about a rain check?
Frank: Well, let's just stick to dinner.
Alfredo: I choose my friends for their looks, my enemies for their intelligence.
Daisy: I fucked up.
Charles Gordon Windsor, Jr.: Yeah... but you gave it a 100% effort.
Mac: Are we limp and hard to manage?
Jacques: I don't understand. Please explain to me.
Enzo: What do you want to know?
Jacques: Everything.
Enzo: About what?
Jacques: About everything.
Enzo: Mama mia.
Alice Baxter: Maybe now would be a good time to go over what you expect of me.
Tess McGill: I expect you to call me Tess. I don't expect you to fetch me coffee unless you're getting some for yourself. And the rest we'll just make up as we go along.
Tereza: I was forced to love my mother, but not this dog. You know, Tomas... maybe... maybe, I love her more than I love you. Not more. I mean in a better way. I'm not jealous of her. I don't want her to be different. I don't ask her for anything.
Jefferson "Jake" Edward Briggs: And in the end, I realised that I took more than I gave, I was trusted more than I trusted, and I was loved more than I loved. And what I was looking for was not to be found but to be made.
Doug: Coughlin's law: never tell tales about a woman, she'll hear you no matter how far away she is.
Angela de Marco: God, you people work just like the mob! There's no difference.
Regional Director Franklin: Oh, there's a big difference, Mrs. De Marco. The mob is run by murdering, thieving, lying, cheating psychopaths. We work for the President of the United States of America.
Sinclair: Man, if we get outta this thing, I want you to come to the States. I'll show you some stuff that you'll never believe.
Vodovsky: No way, my friend. I'm told in the States they shoot Communists in the streets.
Sinclair: Hell, man. In Detroit, my hometown, they shoot everybody in the streets.
Kalgan: It was cruel fate to be born in space, but I have vowed we will not die here. It is my destiny to set my feet upon a real world to accumulate wealth and power beyond our wildest dreams. I have offered the people of the Southern Sun a rich, new life, and now they have no alternative but to accept my generosity and alter course for Corona Borealis.
Vicomte de Valmont: Why do you suppose we only feel compelled to chase the ones who run away?
Marquise de Merteuil: Immaturity?
Smiley: Fuck you Perry.
Perry: That's right Smiley, "fuck you" covers just about everything.