Inspector Todd: Don't think, Axel! It makes my dick itch!
Michael Brody: Dad died of a heart attack!
Ellen Brody: No. He died from fear. Fear of that shark.
Martin Riggs: You want me to drive?
Roger Murtaugh: No, you're supposed to be suicidal, remember? I'LL drive.
Martin Riggs: Anybody who drives around in this town IS suicidal.
Ronny Cammareri: I ain't no freakin' monument to justice! I lost my hand! I lost my bride! Johnny has his hand! Johnny has his bride! You want me to take my heartache, put it away and forget?
Judge: Why do you people call yourselves black? You look more brown than black.
Steve Biko: Why do you call yourselves white? You look more pink than white.
Harry Angel: I know who I am.
Jack Putter: We've got the chip.
Lt. Tuck Pendleton: All right.
Jack Putter: We're on the way to the lab.
Lt. Tuck Pendleton: All right.
Jack Putter: But I think they put someone in there with you.
Lt. Tuck Pendleton: All... what?
State Trooper: What the hell are you driving here?
Del: We had a small fire last night, but we caught it in the nick of time.
State Trooper: Do you have any idea how fast you were going?
Del: Funny enough, I was just talking to my friend about that. Our speedometer has melted and as a result it's very hard to see with any degree of accuracy exactly how fast we were going.
Vera Prescott: Why haven't I met you before?
Fred Melrose: Maybe you ain't been hangin' out in the mailroom.
Vera Prescott: Oooh, the "male room." I like that sound.
Gordon Gekko: I'm talking about liquid. Rich enough to have your own jet. Rich enough not to waste time. Fifty, a hundred million dollars, buddy. A player. Or nothing.
Miss Rebecca Miller: David, are you drunk?
Jimmy Malone: He pulls a knife, you pull a gun. He sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of his to the morgue. That's the Chicago way!
Paul Moore: It must be nice to always believe you know better, to always think you're the smartest person in the room.
Jane Craig: No. It's awful.
Sgt. Gustav Wagner: This morning, two prisoners escaped from North Camp. Thirteen other prisoners, no doubt inspired by their idiotic example, also tried to escape. If any of you would like to cheer, go right ahead. There will be no more escape attempts in this camp. I'll repeat that. there will be no more escape attempts in this camp.
Watts: Because I'm driving you crazy and you're driving me crazy and I'd rather not see you and have you think good things about me than have you see me and hate me. 'Cause I can't afford to have you hate me, Keith. The only things I care about in this goddamn life are me and my drums and you.
Chainsaw: We just got lapped by an old lady in a walker.