Chainsaw: We just got lapped by an old lady in a walker.
Dave: This menstruation thing? It's a scam! Women are so lucky.
Phil Gills: Would someone tell me what Mr. Shoop had planned for today?
Chainsaw: Group sex. No, that's tomorrow. Today is independent study, right after our mid-morning nap.
Mrs. Gremp: How do you want your eggs? Fried, or scrambled?
Chainsaw: I don't know. What are eggs?
Pam: So, you're all alone and you like young girls.
Rhonda Altobello: Are you sure you wanna do this?
Shoop: Absolutely. Lamaze class: great place to meet girls.
Shoop: Your teacher was arrested for giving vodka to students.
Dave: You went to jail for us?
Shoop: On roller skates.
Chainsaw: Can I call my folks and tell them I won't be coming home... ever?
Chainsaw: This menstruation thing is a scam. Women are so lucky.
Denise: What? Oh we're so lucky? You think having your period is a picnic in the park? First of all you're all PMSed out, and second you don't any room in your purse for your hairbrush because of all the damn mini pads. You are SO ignorant.
Chainsaw: Our next field trip has to be to the beach.
Dave: We have to see Annamaria in a bikini. It's very important.
Chainsaw's Sister: How do you spell "cat"?
Chainsaw: I don't know.
Shoop: I'm telling you, you gotta try these Pop Tarts.
Ms. Robin Elizabeth Bishop: No thanks, I'm sticking with the Chocodiles.
Pam: You want us to study?
Shoop: The thought did cross my mind.
Denise: Well, what's in it for us? What do we get out of it?
Larry Kazamias: Once a guy hits 18, it's all downhill.
Shoop: But it's a lovely ride.