Ronny Cammareri: I ain't no freakin' monument to justice! I lost my hand! I lost my bride! Johnny has his hand! Johnny has his bride! You want me to take my heartache, put it away and forget?
Loretta Castorini: Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been two months since my last confession.
Priest: What sins have you to confess?
Loretta Castorini: Twice I took the name of the Lord in vain, once I slept with the brother of my fiancee, and once I bounced a check at the liquor store, but that was really an accident.
Priest: Then it's not a sin. But... what was that second thing you said, Loretta?
Cosmo Castorini: There are three kinds of pipe. There's what you have, which is garbage - and you can see where that's gotten you. There's bronze, which is pretty good, unless something goes wrong. And something always goes wrong. Then, there's copper, which is the only pipe I use. It costs money. It costs money because it saves money.
Ronny Cammareri: They say bread is life. And I bake bread, bread, bread. And I sweat and shovel this stinkin' dough in and out of this hot hole in the wall, and I should be so happy! Huh, sweetie?
Ronny Cammareri: A bride without a head.
Loretta Castorini: A wolf without a foot.
Rose: Would anyone like some oatmeal?
Ronny Cammareri: Yes, Mrs. Castorini, I would love some oatmeal.
Loretta Castorini: No, we don't want any oatmeal.
Rose: I just want you to know no matter what you do, you're gonna die, just like everybody else.
Cosmo Castorini: Thank you, Rose.
Rose: No, I think the house is empty. I can't invite you in because I'm married. Because I know who I am.
Perry: Now, Patricia, please don't leave.
Patricia: So what do you think I am, some sort of talking dog?
Perry: I was just making a point about the way you said... the way you stated your aspirations.
Patricia: Yeah? Well you can kiss my aspirations, Professor.
Perry: Kiss my aspirations? Oh, very clever! Yeah, the heighth of cleverness! Waiter.
Old Man: La bella luna! The moon brings the woman to the man. Capice?
Cosmo Castorini: Birds fly to the stars - I guess.
Cosmo Castorini: I can't sleep any more. It's too much like death.
Rose: Are you drunk?
Loretta Castorini: No. Are you drunk?
Rose: No... but I have a hangover.
Cosmo Castorini: It looks stupid. It's a pinky ring. It's a man's ring.
Loretta Castorini: It's temporary.
Cosmo Castorini: Everything is temporary! That don't excuse nothin'.
Rose: My mother has a saying. Do you want to hear it?
Perry: Sure.
Rose: Don't shit where you eat.
Loretta Castorini: I'm getting married.
Cosmo Castorini: Again?
Loretta Castorini: Yeah.
Cosmo Castorini: You did this once before, it didn't work out.
Loretta Castorini: The guy died.
Ronny Cammareri: I have a feeling this is going to be just delicious.
Rose Castorini: You... you got a love bite on your neck. He's coming back this morning, what's the matter with you? You're life's going down the toilet! Cover up that damn thing! Come on, put some make-up on it.
Johnny: In time you will see that this is the best thing.
Loretta Castorini: In time you'll drop dead and I'll come to your funeral in a red dress.
Rose: How's the mother?
Loretta Castorini: She's dying. But I could still hear her big mouth.
