Bobby Taylor: There's always work at the post office.
Jack Citron: You know this movie's about pop culture? In the 60s, Andy Warhol showed us how Pop could be high art. That everything is high art. That's what this is all about. For example, in your first scene you'll be gang raped by four monsters.
George Jetson: That's grass. I read about it in ancient history.
Jack Jericho: Did anyone ever tell you you're too good to be true?
Randy Jensen: No only that I'm too truthful to be good.
Jeremy Capello: This blood's for you.
Rhonda Shand: You're the only man whoever bet on a horse that started from a kneeling position.
Mrs. Gruen: Mrs Yakamoto, I have your hair. I'm going to slip it under the door.
Grandfather George: You want to know why they're called Faith, Hope, Grace and Charity?
Bill Rowen: Why?
Grandfather George: Your Grandmother. She named them after the virtues I lack. That's marriage for you.
S.W.A.T Team Man: Freeze! Move out! Drop it.
Civilian: Are you crazy? Do you know how much I paid for this gun?
Ernest P. Worrell: No. I-I can't eat on an empty stomach.
Chris Hammond: How can she stand to be so close to her own body without constantly feeling herself up?
Lynda Mansell: Up your bum.
Rudy: If you want to be cool, first you pull your headband into the cool position. Then you just lean back, put this hand in your pocket and then you wave this hand behind you like you just cut one and your trying to shoo away the stinch.
J.C. Wiatt: I can't have a baby because I have a 12:30 lunch meeting.
Rebecca: Jack has a baby?
Peter Mitchell: I realise such a concept tends to negate our belief in a benevolent God, but yes.
H.I.: Do you ever get the feeling that there's something... Powerful pressing down on you?
Glen: Yes, I know that feeling. I told Dot to lose some weight but she don't wanna listen.
Kenneth Halliwell: I can't remember when you last touched my cock. Well, I can actually. It was about two years ago. Only I can't remember the actual date. Pity. I could have put it in my diary. "The last time Joe touched my cock. Grouse shooting begins"
Jonathan Switcher: Hollywood I don't know about men's thighs, they look fine to me.
Hollywood Montrose: Albert called me 'cellulite city'.