Lynda Mansell: Up your bum.
Patty Winston: He hit me daddy! And then he kicked me in my hiney.
Mr. Damnkids: Damn kids.
Jack Jericho: Did anyone ever tell you you're too good to be true?
Randy Jensen: No only that I'm too truthful to be good.
Chris Hammond: How can she stand to be so close to her own body without constantly feeling herself up?
Eddie Murphy: Richard said, "The next time the motherfucker call, tell him I said, "Suck my dick." I don't give a fuck. Whatever the fuck make the people laugh, say that shit. Do the people laugh when you say what you say?" I said, "Yes." He said, "Do you get paid?" I said, "Yes." He said, "Well, tell Bill I said have a Coke and a smile and shut the fuck up. Jello pudding-eating motherfucker."
Sandy Brozinsky: Look, Frank. We're not just jerking you around. Some guys are after us because one of them stole a virus that's gonna kill and destroy all the plants and all the trees all the way around. We stole it back, so now they're gonna kill us. You get it?
Frank: Jesus. The sixties sure were good to you, weren't they?
Lauren Ames: Frank, that's right. Think back to the sixties. People did things for each other.
Frank: They were wasted.
Grandfather George: You want to know why they're called Faith, Hope, Grace and Charity?
Bill Rowen: Why?
Grandfather George: Your Grandmother. She named them after the virtues I lack. That's marriage for you.
Ernest P. Worrell: No. I-I can't eat on an empty stomach.
Mrs. Gruen: Mrs Yakamoto, I have your hair. I'm going to slip it under the door.
Jimmy Garrett: A human pilot would react differently, because a human pilot would know that he's going to die.
Jeremy Capello: This blood's for you.
Jonathan Switcher: Hollywood I don't know about men's thighs, they look fine to me.
Hollywood Montrose: Albert called me 'cellulite city'.
Jack Citron: You know this movie's about pop culture? In the 60s, Andy Warhol showed us how Pop could be high art. That everything is high art. That's what this is all about. For example, in your first scene you'll be gang raped by four monsters.
Faye Riley: Hey Frank, guess what I did.
Frank Riley: What now?
Faye Riley: I named those little guys. Flotsam and Jetsam, isn't that cute?
Frank Riley: Yeah cute.
Faye Riley: Be nice, Papa.
Frank Riley: I'm always nice.
Kenneth Halliwell: I can't remember when you last touched my cock. Well, I can actually. It was about two years ago. Only I can't remember the actual date. Pity. I could have put it in my diary. "The last time Joe touched my cock. Grouse shooting begins"
Lester Bacon: Buddy's a good boy, but he has what you might call basic hygiene problems.