Dr. Wallace Wrightwood: You've seen hundreds, thousands of pigeons, right?
George Henderson: Of course.
Dr. Wallace Wrightwood: Have you ever seen a baby pigeon? Well, neither have I. I got a hunch they exist.
Dr. Wallace Wrightwood: So what you're saying is you would be willing, excuse me, Jack would be willing to take in this creature and care for it and love it like a pet?
George Henderson: No, like a member of the family.
S.W.A.T Team Man: Freeze! Move out! Drop it.
Civilian: Are you crazy? Do you know how much I paid for this gun?
George Henderson: We've got some big guns and some big-big guns but I'm afraid I'm all out of big-big ammo.
Sarah Henderson: Where's the roast?
George Henderson: I'll go get it.
Nancy Henderson: The roast is resting in a shallow unmarked grave in the backyard.
George Henderson: Oh. Well, there's plenty of other stuff.
Dr. Wallace Wrightwood: Are you vegetarians?
George Henderson: Sometimes. It depends on the guest.
George Henderson: I have a friend and his name is, um, Jack and let's say there's... this... giant.
Dr. Wallace Wrightwood: Is there a beanstalk involved in this, Mr. Henderson?