Best western movie quotes of all time

Jim: Well, it got so that every piss-ant prairie punk who thought he could shoot a gun would ride into town to try out the Waco Kid. I must have killed more men than Cecil B. DeMille. It got pretty gritty. I started to hear the word "draw" in my sleep. Then one day, I was just walking down the street when I heard a voice behind me say, "Reach for it, mister!" I spun around... And there I was, face-to-face with a six-year old kid. Well, I just threw my guns down and walked away. Little bastard shot me in the ass. So I limped to the nearest saloon, crawled inside a whiskey bottle, and I've been there ever since.

Doc Holliday: Oh. Johnny, I apologize; I forgot you were there. You may go now.

Lone Watie: Get ready, little lady. Hell is coming to breakfast.

Ned Pepper: What's your intention? Do you think one on four is a dogfall?
Rooster Cogburn: I mean to kill you in one minute, Ned. Or see you hanged in Fort Smith at Judge Parker's convenience. Which'll it be?
Ned Pepper: I call that bold talk for a one-eyed fat man!
Rooster Cogburn: Fill your hands, you son of a bitch!

Buster Scruggs: Misanthrope? I don't hate my fellow man, even when he's tiresome and surly and tries to cheat at poker. I figure that's just a human material, and him that finds in it cause for anger and dismay is just a fool for expecting better.

Anna: You're a good sheep farmer!
Albert: Oh my god, please! I suck at sheep. Louise was right, I can't keep track of them. There was a sheep in the whorehouse the last week.
Anna: Really?
Albert: Yeah. Wandered in there, and then when I went to pick it up, somehow it had made 20 dollars.

Sissy: You a real cowboy?
Bud: Well that depends on what you think a real cowboy is?
Sissy: Know how to do 2-step?
Bud: You bet.
Sissy: Wanna prove it?

Jefe: I have put many beautiful pinatas in the storeroom, each of them filled with little suprises.
El Guapo: Many pinatas?
Jefe: Oh yes, many!
El Guapo: Would you say I have a plethora of pinatas?
Jefe: A what?
El Guapo: A *plethora*.
Jefe: Oh yes, you have a plethora.
El Guapo: Jefe, what is a plethora?
Jefe: Why, El Guapo?
El Guapo: Well, you told me I have a plethora. And I just would like to know if you know what a plethora is. I would not like to think that a person would tell someone he has a plethora, and then find out that that person has *no idea* what it means to have a plethora.
Jefe: Forgive me, El Guapo. I know that I, Jefe, do not have your superior intellect and education. But could it be that once again, you are angry at something else, and are looking to take it out on me?

Butch: Man, I got vision and the rest of the world wears bifocals.

Eli: In all these years I've been carrying it and reading it every day, I got so caught up in keeping it safe that I forgot to live by what I learned from it.

Doc: Marty, the idea that I could fall in love at first sight! It's romantic nonsense. There's no scientific rationale for it.
Marty: Come on, Doc. It's not science. You meet the right girl it just hits you. It's like lightning.
Doc: Marty, please don't say that.

Boone: I'm actually starting to miss my wife's cooking.
Stubby Bill: Shit, I'm actually startin' to miss your wife.

Man With No Name: The way I figure, there's really not too much future with a sawed-off runt like you.

Rooster Cogburn: You go for a man hard enough and fast enough, he don't have time to think about how many's with him; he thinks about himself, and how he might get clear of that wrath that's about to set down on him.

Sheriff Cobb: We'll give you a fair trial... Followed by a first class hangin'.

Marlboro: My old man told me, before he left this shitty world, never chase buses or women, you'll always be left behind.

Bill Munny: You better bury Ned right, and don't go cuttin' up... Nor otherwise harm no whores, or I'll come back and kill every one of you sons-a-bitches.

Jerome Lurie: Ma'am, I don't know how to tell you this.
Anita Crown: Tell me what?
Jerome Lurie: Well, your claim is worthless without your husband alive. See for yourself... second paragraph. Now ma'am, I'm sorry but it's the law. Surely you understand that.
Anita Crown: Yes, I understand that. I was worthless until I married. So now, I guess I'm worthless as a widow. Funny, I had some value as a whore.

Major Ashley-Pitt: In our experience, Americans are uncouth misfits who should be run out of their own barbaric country.
Matthew Quigley: Well, Lieutenant.
Major Ashley-Pitt: Major.
Matthew Quigley: Major. We already run the misfits outta our country. We sent 'em back to England.

Jesus Raza: You know, of course, one of us must die.
Bill Dolworth: Maybe both of us.
Jesus Raza: To die for money... is foolish.
Bill Dolworth: To die for a woman is more foolish. Any woman. Even her.