Jim: Well, it got so that every piss-ant prairie punk who thought he could shoot a gun would ride into town to try out the Waco Kid. I must have killed more men than Cecil B. DeMille. It got pretty gritty. I started to hear the word "draw" in my sleep. Then one day, I was just walking down the street when I heard a voice behind me say, "Reach for it, mister!" I spun around... And there I was, face-to-face with a six-year old kid. Well, I just threw my guns down and walked away. Little bastard shot me in the ass. So I limped to the nearest saloon, crawled inside a whiskey bottle, and I've been there ever since.
Doc Holliday: Oh. Johnny, I apologize; I forgot you were there. You may go now.
Prologue: A gun, like any other source of power, is a force for either good or evil, being neither in itself, but dependent upon those who possess it.
James Pepper: You know, there's an old saying, Miss Sally. There's no law west of Dodge and no God west of the Pecos. Right, Mr. Chisum?
John Simpson Chisum: Wrong, Mr. Pepper. Because no matter where people go, sooner or later there's the law. And sooner or later they find God's already been there.
Lone Watie: Get ready, little lady. Hell is coming to breakfast.
Hondo Lane: You baked today. Smell fresh bread on you. And top of that you smell all over like a woman, rich and warm and soft. I could find you in the dark Mrs. Lowe.
Buster Scruggs: Misanthrope? I don't hate my fellow man, even when he's tiresome and surly and tries to cheat at poker. I figure that's just a human material, and him that finds in it cause for anger and dismay is just a fool for expecting better.
Running Buffalo: Swell party, where's the whisky?
Ned Pepper: What's your intention? Do you think one on four is a dogfall?
Rooster Cogburn: I mean to kill you in one minute, Ned. Or see you hanged in Fort Smith at Judge Parker's convenience. Which'll it be?
Ned Pepper: I call that bold talk for a one-eyed fat man!
Rooster Cogburn: Fill your hand, you son of a bitch!
Martha McCandles: This is going to be a very harsh and unpleasant business, and will take an equally harsh and unpleasant person to see to it.
Jennifer: Excuse me, Doc Brown. I brought this message back from the future and, well, now it's erased.
Doc: Of course it's erased.
Jennifer: But what does that mean?
Doc: It means your futures haven't been written yet. No one's has. Your future is what ever you make. So make it a good one, the both of you.
Passepartout: I'm your new valet.
Phileas Fogg: Uh... I must commend the valet service on their impeccable foresight. But they know I only accept French valets.
Passepartout: Yes. Oh! Oui! Oui! I come from a long line of French valets. On my father's side. Very, very French.
Phileas Fogg: But your accent.
Passepartout: My father French. Never speak. My mother Chinese and never shuts up. All the children pick up her accent.
Major Ashley-Pitt: In our experience, Americans are uncouth misfits who should be run out of their own barbaric country.
Matthew Quigley: Well, Lieutenant.
Major Ashley-Pitt: Major.
Matthew Quigley: Major. We already run the misfits outta our country. We sent 'em back to England.
Eli: In all these years I've been carrying it and reading it every day, I got so caught up in keeping it safe that I forgot to live by what I learned from it.
Sheriff J. P. Harrah: What the hell are you doin' here?
Cole: I'm lookin' at a tin star with a... drunk pinned on it.
Mexican girl: Which one do you like?
Carmen: I like the one that's not so smart.
Mexican girl: Which one is that?
Butch: Man, I got vision and the rest of the world wears bifocals.
Patricia Terrill: But if he loved me, why would he let me think he was a coward?
Julie Maragon: If you love him, why would you think it? How many times does a man have to win you?