Pat Garret: Newton, life is like a penis. When it's hard you get screwed. When it's soft you can't beat it.
Wyatt Earp: We'd like you to come to the wedding, Doc, - if it doesn't interfere with your poker.
Dr. John 'Doc' Holliday: I'm not good at weddings - only funerals. Deal me out.
Rocklin: Touch that gun, and I'll kill you.
Conquering Bear: Hear my words. Life melts from me. My eyes see into the mist. Someday a great warrior leader will arise among us. His medicine will be very storng against the whites. He will unite all the tribes of the Lakotas... and lead us to vicotry. But drive envy and jealousy from your hearts. For when this great warrior dies, it will be at the hand of a Lakota.
John McBain: It seems like everybody around here is stealing from everybody else.
Captain Henry: We must move on or the Injuns will start makin' our decisions for us.
John Slade: The name's Slade.
Julian Rogers: Super. Here's an idea. Why don't you spell it out for me so I can get it right on your tombstone.
Judge Tolliver: Myrl Redding didn't fail the law. The law failed Myrl.
S. Quentin Quale: There's only one law in the west: the law of blood and bullets. It's either shoot or be shot. What are we gonna do?
Joseph Panello: Sue 'em.
Ringo: What can I say, I'm an anime otaku at heart."
Frank O'Brien: What the hell are they shooting?
Deputy U.S. Marshal Nathan Pearce: When you tell an Indian things will be a certain way and then they're not, he's inclined to think maybe you crossed him.
Calamity Jane: Tip your hat when you speak to a lady.
Wild Bill Hickok: I will... when I speak to a lady.
Saddest Flute: Is this the new life you have found? Funny, look much like the old one.
Col. Woodrow Dolarhyde: I want that man! You give him to me now, or I'm gonna take him!
Martha Cable: The disadvantage of knowing a man all his life is a woman never expects him to change.
Martha Cable: And when he does, it rattles her.
Col. Thaddeus Gearhart: If it's the last thing I do, I'll have that entire band transferred to Alaska.
Donald Martin: Why do ya keep asking me all these questions? You don't believe anything I tell you.
Major Tetley: There's truth in lies too, if you can get enough of them.
Don Diego Vega: I must please ask you to change the subject. His Excellency objects to talk of throat-cutting.
Captain Esteban Pasquale: Quiet, you Popinjay! I have no reason to letting you live either.
Don Diego Vega: What a pleasant coincidence. I feel exactly the same way about you Capitan.
Captain Esteban Pasquale: You wouldn't care to translate that feeling into action would you?
Don Diego Vega: I might be tempted. If I had a weapon.
Captain Esteban Pasquale: Would you.