M*A*S*H
Movie Quote Quiz

Sometimes You Hear the Bullet - S1-E17

Henry Blake: All I know is what they taught me at command school. There are certain rules about a war, and rule number one is that young men die. And rule number two is that doctors can't change rule number one.

Frank Burns: You disgust me!
Hawkeye: You're right, Frank... I discussed you with everyone I know and we all find you disgusting.

Fade Out, Fade In - S6-E1

Winchester: But, know this. You can cut me off from the civilized world. You can incarcerate me with two moronic cellmates. You can torture me with your thrice-daily swill, but can not break the spirit of a Winchester. My voice shall be heard from this wilderness, and I shall be delivered from this fetid and festering sewer.
Potter: I think he's getting the hang of this place.

Movie Nut

Chief Surgeon Who? - S1-E4

Gen. Barker: What are you doing?
Radar: Doing, sir?
Barker: D-O-I-N-G. Doing. What are you doing?
Radar: Uh, listening to you spell doing sir.
Barker: Doesn't Col. Blake mind you drinking his whiskey and smoking his cigars?
Radar: Oh, very much so, sir.
Barker: Then why are you doing it?
Radar: Well, I don't mind, and I figured as long as one of us was being reasonable.

Movie Nut

Radar: Sir, I was just crossing the compound when...
Frank Burns: I have no interest in the compound.
Klinger: He has no compound-interest.

Frank Burns: Courage is something you shouldn't be afraid to have.

Frank Burns: I wonder if I can say something useful?
Trapper: I often wonder that too, Frank.

Frank Burns: I'm taking this to a higher authority.
Trapper: Aw, Frank... You're not going to write your mother again.

PA System: Attention all personnel. Due to the shortage of oil and wood, tonight's movie will be burned at 1800.

Radar: Sir, there's someone waiting to see you.
Henry Blake: I was born with someone waiting to see me.

Henry Blake: Will you stop saying what I'm thinking?
Radar: One of us has to.

Frank Burns: I love it here.
Col. Potter: Either you or Klinger is nuts. Now I have to figure out which one.

Frank Burns: Funny thing, war: never have so many suffered so much so so few could be so happy.
Margaret: We're lucky to be two of the few and not the many.
Frank Burns: I know, darling, and I love being both of us.

What's Up, Doc? - S6-E19

Dr. Winchester: My family has had problems with immigrants ever since we came to America.

Maj. Burns: You're losing half your apple sauce. Apples don't grow on trees, you know.

Officer of the Day - S3-E3

Hawkeye: I will not carry a gun, Frank. When I got into this war, I had a very clear understanding with the Pentagon: no guns.
Frank: Humpf!
Hawkeye: I'll carry your books, I'll carry a torch, I'll carry a tune...I'll carry on, carry over, carry forward, Cary Grant, cash and carry, Carry Me Back to Old Virginny. I'll even Hari Kari if you show me how, but I will not carry a gun!

Movie Nut

Goodbye, Farewell, and Amen - S11-E16

Other mistake: How did Hawkeye Pierce, a surgeon, know how to drive a tank? It is nothing like driving a car and takes skills, training and experience that a surgeon simply would not have. He wouldn't even be able to start the engine.

More mistakes in M*A*S*H

Abyssinia, Henry - S3-E24

Trivia: There were no American planes shot down over the Sea of Japan during the Korean conflict. It is rumoured that producer/director Larry Gelbart knew that, but wrote Henry Blake's death scene as he was very unhappy with the way Mclean Stevenson had left the show, and was determined to make it clear that there was no way he would be coming back.

More trivia for M*A*S*H

Dear Dad - S1-E12

Question: A number of times it is mentioned that the outfit is unarmed, yet several times, Frank has a rifle, or a pistol, and once Klinger had a grenade, and the guards and Klinger, while on sentry duty, has a rifle. Was this standard, or is this a mistake?

Answer: Even an Army field hospital would have SOME weapons for self-defense if the enemy attacked. What's meant is that it's not a combat outfit, and therefore wouldn't have enough weapons to actually attack anyone. (It's also mentioned a few times that the Officer of the Watch is supposed to carry a pistol at all times, but Hawkeye refuses to do it when he's in charge and Colonels Blake and Potter don't enforce the rule).

Captain Defenestrator

Answer: The Geneva Convention allows even doctors to carry a sidearm to be used in their self defense or the defense of their patients, however it is rare to do so.

stiiggy

Answer: As an old medical unit staffer, my experience is that med units have combat units assigned to defend them. Usually it was marines.

Answer: My old doctor (now deceased) served in Korea during the War. He was required to carry a sidearm anytime he was not in the hospital.

More questions & answers from M*A*S*H

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