M*A*S*H (1972)
43 quotes
Sometimes You Hear the Bullet - S1-E17
Henry Blake: All I know is what they taught me at command school. There are certain rules about a war, and rule number one is that young men die. And rule number two is that doctors can't change rule number one.
Fade Out, Fade In (60 mins.) - S6-E1
Winchester: But, know this. You can cut me off from the civilized world. You can incarcerate me with two moronic cellmates. You can torture me with your thrice-daily swill, but can not break the spirit of a Winchester. My voice shall be heard from this wilderness, and I shall be delivered from this fetid and festering sewer.
Potter: I think he's getting the hang of this place.
Gen. Barker: What are you doing?
Radar: Doing, sir?
Barker: D-O-I-N-G. Doing. What are you doing?
Radar: Uh, listening to you spell doing sir.
Barker: Doesn't Col. Blake mind you drinking his whiskey and smoking his cigars?
Radar: Oh, very much so, sir.
Barker: Then why are you doing it?
Radar: Well, I don't mind, and I figured as long as one of us was being reasonable.
Frank Burns: The men hate me, don't they?
Radar: Just your guts, sir.
Frank Burns: You disgust me!
Hawkeye: You're right, Frank... I discussed you with everyone I know and we all find you disgusting.
Frank Burns: I know I'm a real asset.
Hawkeye: You're only off by two letters.
Dr. Winchester: My family has had problems with immigrants ever since we came to America.
Frank Burns: Courage is something you shouldn't be afraid to have.
Frank Burns: I wonder if I can say something useful?
Trapper: I often wonder that too, Frank.
Frank Burns: I'm taking this to a higher authority.
Trapper: Aw, Frank... You're not going to write your mother again.
PA System: Attention all personnel. Due to the shortage of oil and wood, tonight's movie will be burned at 1800.
Radar: Sir, I was just crossing the compound when...
Frank Burns: I have no interest in the compound.
Klinger: He has no compound-interest.
Radar: Sir, there's someone waiting to see you.
Henry Blake: I was born with someone waiting to see me.
Henry Blake: Will you stop saying what I'm thinking?
Radar: One of us has to.
Maj. Burns: You're losing half your apple sauce. Apples don't grow on trees, you know.
PA System: Due to circumstances beyond our control, lunch will be served today.
Margaret: Act like a man, you sniveling twerp!
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