M*A*S*H
Movie Quote Quiz

Private Charles Lamb - S3-E14

Frank: What kind of a jackass do you think I am?
Radar: Oh, you'd know that better than me, sir.

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The Consultant - S3-E17

Trapper: Where'd you learn to drive?
Radar: The Bumper Cars
Trapper: Figures.

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House Arrest - S3-E18

Henry Blake: Klinger! It's four o'clock in the afternoon and you're still in a housecoat? Put on a dress! You never know who might be coming around.

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White Gold - S3-E23

Frank: Well, he, uh, ordered me to leave. He's a superior officer.
Henry: He's a superior psycho. His head's so twisted, he's gotta screw his cap on.

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Mad Dogs and Servicemen - S3-E13

Frank: Corporal Travis, Richard. To Tokyo. Typical psycho case, shell shock.
Trapper: Frank, that's straight outta World War One! Nobody thinks shell shock anymore.
Frank: Oh, what's the diff? Too much action gets them in the old brain box; makes even the best soldier gaga.
Trapper: Frank, I defy you to show me a medical book that lists the word 'gaga'.

House Arrest - S3-E18

Frank: [after Hawkeye hits him] Captain Pierce, I accuse you of striking a superior officer. A court-martial offense under the Articles of War. And I have two witnesses!
Trapper: [to Hawkeye] I didn't see anything, did you?
Hawkeye: My back was turned. [Drops towel in Frank's face.] BA-DUM-BUMP!
Trapper: Case dismissed.

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Bulletin Board - S3-E16

Frank: [on Margaret's request] I just can't do it, Margaret. It just rubs against the grain. "Neither a lender nor a borrower be." Polonius.
Margaret: "To give, and not count the cost." St. Ignatius Loyola
Frank: "The holy passion of friendship is of so sweet, and steady, and loyal and enduring a nature, that it will last throughout a whole lifetime if not asked to lend money." Mark Twain.
Margaret: "Blow it out your ear!" Margaret Houlihan.

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