General Mitchell: Now wait a minute! This is a press conference! The last thing I want to do is answer a lot of questions.
Pierce: Listen, Frank. We're all gonna make nice for Captain Hildebrandt today, but don't push us.
Burns: Well, a shave wouldn't be a bad start. You both look more like bums than doctors.
Trapper: Actually, I was, uh, I was thinking of becoming a bum doctor. But the proctology class was full!
Burns: HA! HA! HA!
Character mistake: When Henry is describing the fishing reel he bought for his girlfriend, he said, "with jeweled escarpment" actually it is a 'jeweled esCAPEment" not esCARPment. An escarpment is a long slope off a plateau. An escapement is a latch/release mechanism that you would find on a device like a fishing reel.
Trivia: Gary Burghoff's left hand was slightly deformed, and he often hid it behind his clipboard during filming.
Question: A number of times it is mentioned that the outfit is unarmed, yet several times, Frank has a rifle, or a pistol, and once Klinger had a grenade, and the guards and Klinger, while on sentry duty, has a rifle. Was this standard, or is this a mistake?
Answer: The Geneva Convention allows even doctors to carry a sidearm to be used in their self defense or the defense of their patients, however it is rare to do so.
Answer: As an old medical unit staffer, my experience is that med units have combat units assigned to defend them. Usually it was marines.
Answer: My old doctor (now deceased) served in Korea during the War. He was required to carry a sidearm anytime he was not in the hospital.
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Answer: Even an Army field hospital would have SOME weapons for self-defense if the enemy attacked. What's meant is that it's not a combat outfit, and therefore wouldn't have enough weapons to actually attack anyone. (It's also mentioned a few times that the Officer of the Watch is supposed to carry a pistol at all times, but Hawkeye refuses to do it when he's in charge and Colonels Blake and Potter don't enforce the rule).
Captain Defenestrator