PA System: Attention all personnel. Due to the shortage of oil and wood, tonight's movie will be burned at 1800.
Maj. Burns: You're losing half your apple sauce. Apples don't grow on trees, you know.
PA System: Due to circumstances beyond our control, lunch will be served today.
Margaret: Act like a man, you sniveling twerp!
Frank Burns: I love it here.
Col. Potter: Either you or Klinger is nuts. Now I have to figure out which one.
Henry Blake: Do we have enough sherry and ginger-ale for the General?
Radar: Oh, nobody does, sir.
Henry Blake: Oh, fine then, if nobody does we don't have to, but make sure we do, just in case we don't.