Quotes from Jesse Eisenberg movies and TV shows - page 3 of 3

Walt Berkman: It's Welles' masterpiece, really. Many people think it's Citizen Kane, but Magnificent Ambersons, if it hadn't been ruined by the studio, would've been his crowning achievement. As it is, it's still brilliant. It's the old story, genius not being recognized by the industry.
Lance: It sounds great. Who's in it?
Walt Berkman: Orson Welles? I don't know, I haven't seen it yet. I've seen stills.

Walt Berkman: Ls Mom letting you drink soda?
Frank Berkman: Beer.
Walt Berkman: Since when do you drink beer?
Frank Berkman: Since recently.

Walt Berkman: It's like... we were pals then... we'd do things together... we'd look at the knight armor at the Met. The scary fish at the Natural History Museum. I was always afraid of the squid and whale fighting. I can only look at it with my hands in front of my face.

More The Squid and the Whale quotes

Columbus: You see? You just can't trust anyone. The first girl I let into my life and she tries to eat me.

Columbus: The first rule of Zombieland: Cardio. When the zombie outbreak first hit, the first to go, for obvious reasons... Were the fatties.

Tallahassee: Sno-Balls? Sno-Balls? Where's the fucking Twinkies?!
Columbus: I love Sno-Balls.
Tallahassee: I HATE coconut. Not the taste, the consistency.

Columbus: You know there's a place untouched by all this crap?
Tallahassee: Out east, yeah?
Columbus: Yeah.
Tallahassee: Out west, we hear it's out east, out east they hear it's out west. It's all bullshit. It's like you're a penguin at the North Pole hears the South Pole is real nice this time of year.
Columbus: There are no penguins in the North Pole.
Tallahassee: You wanna feel how hard I can punch?

Tallahassee: I'm not great at farewells, so uh... That'll do, pig.
Columbus: That's the worst goodbye I've ever heard. And you stole it from a movie.

Columbus: Fuck this clown.

Columbus: You're like a giant... Cock blocking robot, like developed in a secret fucking government lab.

Columbus: When Tallahassee goes hulk on a zombie, he sets the standard for "not to be fucked with."

Columbus: In those moments where you're not quite sure if the undead are really dead, dead, don't get all stingy with your bullets. I mean, one more clean shot to the head, and this lady could have avoided becoming a human Happy Meal. Woulda... Coulda... Shoulda.

Tallahassee: You got taken hostage by a little girl?
Columbus: She was like a crouching tiger...
Tallahassee: She's twelve!
Columbus: Well, girls mature way faster than boys. She's way ahead of where I was at that age.
Little Rock: Twelve's the new twenty.

Tallahassee: Wow, these fellas really let themselves go.
Columbus: And they're so fat.

More Zombieland quotes

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