Dan: At six, we stand round the computer and look at the next day's page, make final changes, add a few euphemisms for our own amusement.
Alice: Such as?
Dan: "He was a convivial fellow" - meaning he was an alcoholic. "He valued his privacy" - gay. "He enjoyed his privacy" - raging queen.
Alice: What would my euphemism be?
Dan: She was... disarming.
Alice: That's not a euphemism.
Dan: Yes, it is.
Alice: So this man comes into the café today, and he says, "Hey waitress, what are you waiting for?"
Dan: Funny guy.
Alice: So I go, "I'm waiting for a man to come in here and fuck me sideways with a beautiful line like that."
Dan: So what did he ask for?
Alice: He asked for a cup of tea with two sugars.
Dom Hemingway: Oh, my head is throbbing. It's fuckin' throbbin', Dickie. Like a disco in my head. Like a fucking Manila disco full of transvestites and suckling pigs.
Paolina: I don't know who this man is.
Dom Hemingway: Oh. I'll tell you who I am. I'm the fucker who'll tear your nose off with my teeth. I'm the fucker who will gut you with a dull cheese knife and sing Gilbert and Sullivan while I do it. I'm the fucker who'll dump your dead body in a freezing cold lake and watch you sink to the bottom like so much shit. I am that fucker. That's the fucker who I am.
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