Best comedy movie quotes of 2011

1

Paul (2011)

Paul picture

Agent Zoil: Motherfucking, titty-sucking two-balled bitch!

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We Bought a Zoo picture

Benjamin Mee: You seem really calm.
Peter MacCready: Ah.
Benjamin Mee: Have you been drinking?
Peter MacCready: All night long.
Benjamin Mee: Thanks for that.
Peter MacCready: Anytime.

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Chalet Girl picture

Richard: [Pointing at a helicopter.] You ever been in one of these things?
Kim: Yeah, we have one at home. This one's pretty small actually.
Richard: Do we pay extra for irony?
Kim: No, the irony's free, it's the sarcasm you're paying for. Ironically.

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The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel picture

Sonny: Everything will be all right in the end. So if it is not all right, then it is not yet the end.

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The Hangover Part 2 picture

Phil: I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm actually jealous of you. I mean Lauren is an angel.
Doug: Yeah, she really is amazing.
Stu: Ah, you guys are sweet.
Phil: Not big breasts on her, but still a solid rack for an Asian.

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No Strings Attached picture

Alvin: She's just so hot.
Adam: I know how hot she is.
Vanessa: That's really sweet, thanks guys!
Adam: Fuck you!

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Just Go with It picture

Palmer: So Bart, if you could be anyone else, who would it be?
Michael: Mr. Dechesray.
Maggie: Our mailman?
Michael: He just seems to have it all figured out.

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The Inbetweeners Movie picture

James: You better watch you don't fall overboard.
Jane: Or what? I'll get harpooned because someone will mistake me for a whale? Someone will think they've discovered a new island? All the water will splash over onto the boat? I've heard them all. Take your pick.

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Attack the Block picture

Sam: What's Ron's weed room?
Pest: It's a room, filled with weed, that belongs to Ron.

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Puss in Boots picture

Puss in Boots: Fear me, if you dare!

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Fright Night picture

Jerry: You bit off more then you can chew.
Ed: It's too late, man. I told people what you are. You've been made.
Jerry: And you think anyone's actually going to believe you?
Ed: No, No. Don't play that crap. Don't play that mind shit with me. I'm serious. Try me.
Jerry: Okay. You said you're glad you're different.
Ed: Get back!
Jerry: How can you be in a place like this? These people. Even your best friend did nothing to help.
Ed: No.
Jerry: You were born for this and you know it. It's a gift.
[Jerry bites Ed.]

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Bad Teacher picture

Shawn: LeBron is a better rebounder and passer.
Russell Gettis: LeBron will never beat Jordan. Call me when LeBron has six championships.
Shawn: That's your only argument?
Russell Gettis: It's the only argument I need Shawn!

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13

Arthur (2011)

Arthur picture

Police Sergeant: You're drunk again, Arthur.
Arthur: No, I have remained drunk since our last encounter.

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Kung Fu Panda 2 picture

Shifu: This could be the end of Kung Fu.
Po: But I just got Kung Fu !
Shifu: And now, you must *save* it !

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Johnny English Reborn picture

Johnny English: You mean there's a mole AND a vole?

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Gnomeo & Juliet picture

Lord Redbrick: I'm not illiterate! My parents were married!

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Friends with Benefits picture

Dylan: Breasts.
Jamie: Really? I think they're so tiny.
Dylan: They're still breasts.
Jamie: Thank you!

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Your Highness picture

Thadeous: Quests suck!

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19

Rango (2011)

Rango picture

Rango: We can control it! Like a monkey's bladder!

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The Guard picture

Sergeant Gerry Boyle: Now I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, these men are armed and dangerous, and you being an FBI agent you're more used to shooting at unarmed women and children...
FBI agent Wendell Everett: Oh, fuck you, Sergeant!

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30 Minutes or Less picture

Dwayne: Sometimes fate pulls out its big ol' cock and slaps you right in the face.

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22

50/50 (2011)

50/50 picture

Kyle: You could have totally fucked the shit out of that girl.
Adam: No one wants to fuck me. I look like Voldemort.

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The Dilemma picture

Susan Warner: I feel like I'm your Deep Throat. Have you seen that movie?
Ronny Valentine: All the President's Men?
Susan Warner: No, Deep Throat.

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24

Cars 2 (2011)

Cars 2 picture

Professor Zundapp: Lightning McQueen cannot win the race.
Grem: Instead of saying "ka-chow, " he's gonna go "ka-boom!"

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The Smurfs picture

Grouchy: Where the Smurf are we?
Gutsy: Up the smurfin' creek without a paddle, that's where!

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26

Rio (2011)

Rio picture

Blu: Yeah sounds great, it's not like we're just throwing ourselves off a mountain... Right?
Rafael: Actually, that was pretty much my entire plan.

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Bridesmaids picture

Becca: You smell like pine needles, and have a face like sunshine!

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Horrible Bosses picture

Bobby Pellitt: I'm a green belt, motherfucker!

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The Muppets picture

Statler: Is this movie in 3-D?
Waldorf: Nope! The Muppets are as one-dimensional as they've always been!

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What's Your Number? picture

Ally Darling: Where's my coffee pot?
Colin Shea: I broke it. If you were on Twitter you would know that already.

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