Neil Sutherland: I stopped believing in god when I realised it was just dog spelt backwards.
Mr. Gilbert: This isn't The Dead Poets Society, and I am not that bloke on BBC 2 who keeps getting kids to sing in choirs. I especially don't want to hear how well you are settling down at uni or how much growing up you have done in the past 12 months. At best I am ambivalent towards most of you, but some of you I actively dislike, for no other reason than your poor personal hygiene or your irritating personalities. I hope I have made myself clear on this point, and in case any of you think I am joking, I am not. I assure you, once my legal obligation to look after you best interests is removed, I can be one truly nasty fucker. Good luck with the rest of your lives, and try not to kill anyone, it reflects very badly on all of us here.
James: You better watch you don't fall overboard.
Jane: Or what? I'll get harpooned because someone will mistake me for a whale? Someone will think they've discovered a new island? All the water will splash over onto the boat? I've heard them all. Take your pick.
Jay Cartwright: This girl's so wet for me I can hear the waves breaking in her fanny.
Carly: You OK Will?
Will: Fine. Slightly chafed arse crack but otherwise fine, thanks. (00:07:35)
Will McKenzie: So smelling like an industrial accident in a Lynx factory and looking like the world's shittest boyband, we hit the town.
Will McKenzie: I've lost my glasses!
Carli D'Amato: Simon we need to talk.
Simon Cooper: Oh no, not talking.
Carli D'Amato: I think we should break up.
Jay Cartwright: You better bring your wellies, because you'll be knee-deep in clunge.