Matt: I love you... I have a condom.
Esther: I think people should always try to take the bad things that happen to them in their lives, and turn them into something good. Don't you?
[Columbus sprays Tallahassee with perfume.]
Tallahassee: It's ok. But FYI, I beat wholesale ass for a lot less than that.
Janosh: We have all heard the stories. Look into his eyes! They are true! This place is cursed! They are no more human than the devils that invade our lands.
Viktor: If devils you call us, rest assured, better the devil you know.
George Lanter: I've been trying to kill myself all day!
Irene: I'm not a whore!
Frank the Trucker: [tossing her a $20 bill.] You are now!
Edward Cullen: I love you. You're my only reason to stay alive... If that's what I am.
Susie Salmon: My name is Salmon, like the fish. First name, Susie. I was fourteen years old when I was murdered on December 6th,1973. I wasn't gone. I was alive in my own perfect world. But in my heart, I knew it wasn't perfect. My murderer still haunted me. My father had the pieces but he couldn't make them fit. I waited for justice but justice did not come.
Needy Lesnicky: I recommend you shut the fuck up!
Jigsaw: You think it's the living who have the ultimate judgment over you, because the dead have no claim over your soul. But you may be mistaken.
Susan Harding: Where's the coed girlfriend?
Jay Harding: That's over. Actually she was working for a PHD. She wasn't that much younger than you were, just took a little better care of herself.
Deputy Winston: Wanna know what kinda pussy you gonna get for this? Oh man, you're gonna get the Sashimi.
Toby: What's that?
Deputy Winston: Man, that's the Primo Pussy, man. No smell.
The Girl: He wants to make me dead.
Ed Oswald: My granddaddy used to work down there. One time, him and two of his buddies broke into a whole new cave system. Really big. Company bosses figured there should be some rick picking to be had, so they sent my granddaddy back down to have a look-see. He never come back. Folks reckoned they must've broke clean through into hell. The devil was mighty pissed.
Gina: He's really hard to kill.
Ellie: Megan's alive, you guys.
Jessica: Ellie, you're being borderline retarded right now.
Edward Dalton: Welcome back to humanity. Now you get to die.
Wendy: But what about you?
Matt Campbell: I'm already dead.