Ellie: Megan's alive, you guys.
Jessica: Ellie, you're being borderline retarded right now.
Mrs. Crenshaw: Come to mama.
Mrs. Crenshaw: Please don't think I'm afraid of you. I run a house with fifty crazy bitches.
Mrs. Crenshaw: You stay the fuck away from my girls.
Jessica: Claire, I like being your friend because... it makes me multicultural without having to do anything.
Jessica: I'm gonna deal with you later.
Maggie: You might wanna deal with that hair first, because it looks like shit.
Jessica: Ugh, This is so stupid. We are missing out on the part of the year.
Cassidy: I know, how inconvinent. Why couldn't Ellie have had a nervous breakdown tomorrow?
Jessica: You know Cassidy, your sarcasm makes you sound like a bitch. And nobody likes a bitch.
Jessica: Cassidy, my room. Theta toast. Now.
Cassidy: You seen Andy?
Jessica: Hoes before bros.
Chugs: Whatever, loser. It's not my fault that you're gay.
Jessica: Oh, shit. Who set the house on fire?
Chugs: I don't have time to play "Catch Me, Rape Me."
Jessica: It's Mickey... I would know those ugly ass shoes anywhere.
Cassidy: Is he dead?
Jessica: Well, he has a fucking tire iron through his head... Do you think it's the same one that killed Megan?
Cassidy: You make it sound like the tire iron killed Megan by itself.
Jessica: Thank you for the grammar lesson. I'm just sayin' it looks a little... updated, doesn't it? Like someone... pimped it out.
Jessica: Friend me on Facebook, I'll totally confirm.
Jessica: Please God don't let me get killed. Please God don't let me get killed.
Cassidy: Stop giving Him ideas.
