Laura Henderson: If we are to ask our youth to surrender their lives, then we should not ask them to surrender joy - or the possibility of joy! And, if along the way, we cause too many people to congregate in the street, who gives a fiddler's fuck?
Isabelle Sorenson: You can kiss my self esteem butt, Donald Duck. Why tell your life story, and tell only the good parts?
Donald Morton: It's Donald Morton.
Isabelle Sorenson: You're missing my point.
Donald Morton: No I'm not! I just - never know what to say.
Reporter: Conners, can we have a few words?
Quentin Conners: Yeah, I have two words for you. Blow me.
Sonia Rand: I don't have time for stupid idiots.
Travis Ryer: Well, why don't you make some time. How about we stop with the insults, because it is starting to get on my nerves.
Sonia Rand: You think I devoted my career to designing an amusement park ride for rich men to compensate for their little willies by shooting prehistoric animals, is that what you really think?
Travis Ryer: No, what I think is that if you were a guy, someone would have probably knocked you on your ass a long time ago.
Amanda Wilkinson: "Hell", is a cuss word.
Miss Franny: Well, war is a cuss word, too.
Edward R. Murrow: You always were yellow.
Fred Friendly: Better than red.
Blake: You know, it's kinda like... Success is subjective, you know. It could be an opinion.
Jimmy: Howdy neighbor. Just wanted to say, you know... welcome to the building. And uh, if you ever need any weed or anything, just come knock on my door.
Ranger Holt: Yeah. Thanks Jimmy, you'll definitely be hearing from us.
Jimmy: Cool.
Kham: Where the hell is my elephant?
The Penguin: Agh! Dead guys don't do that.
Dracula: Not dead... UN-dead.
The Penguin: I think I need to UN-wet my pants.
Alexandra 'Nightingale' Morgan: If we're lucky, the zombie plague will end up as a footnote in the history books. No worse than aids or bubonic plague.
David Owens: Just because I have a dead, Mexican hooker in my room doesn't mean I went to Mexico.
Young Boy: What's the matter, mister? You have a nightmare?
Edward Carnby: Yeah. I was sitting... alone in the dark... hearing noises.
Young Boy: My mommy says that there is nothing to be afraid of in the dark.
Edward Carnby: Your mother's wrong, kid. Being afraid of the dark is what keeps most of us alive.
Ethan: Admiral, is this lady going to be our new mommy?
Frank Beardsley: I don't think so. It's just a blind date.
Otter Beardsley: She can't see?
Ely Beardsley: Can she navigate using sonar? Like a bat?
Sir Nicholas: What queer finery he wears.
Geoff Tipps: I'm not queer, don't bum me.
Cholo: Still workin' for the man. Kaufman send you to kill me, huh?
Riley: Yes.
Cholo: Takes a true friend to stab you right in the front, doesn't it.
Captain Stanley: Australia. What fresh hell is this?
Santa Claus: Looks like Grandpa got run over by a reindeer.
Diane Petersen: You're tearing this family apart.
Sam Fuller: I don't recall seeing a skinny, white-ass girl growing up at the table.
Gracie Hart: Okay, first of all... thank you for calling me skinny.