Drew Baylor: I've just recently decided that the things we know aren't black and white.
Hayley Stark: You really just don't look like kind of guy who needs to meet girls over the internet.
Jeff Kohlver: Well, I think it's better to meet people online first, sometimes. You get to know what they're like inside. When you work as a photographer you find out, real quick, people's faces lie.
Hayley Stark: Does my face lie?
Radio Locust: It's 6am in the Bolivarian Republic of Marijuana. Let's listen some music while we call one of our herbal therapists.
Isabelle Sorenson: You can kiss my self esteem butt, Donald Duck. Why tell your life story, and tell only the good parts?
Donald Morton: It's Donald Morton.
Isabelle Sorenson: You're missing my point.
Donald Morton: No I'm not! I just - never know what to say.
Vinnie: I thought a great place to meet girls would be night school, you know, where they teach English as a second language. You know, because these girls would be from foreign lands and, you know, maybe still a little disoriented from the journey and I would look attractive because... I speak English very goodly. But in the end it did not work out as I had hoped, I mean, basically I was told to take a hike in fourteen languages.
Æon Flux: You cloned her.
Trevor Goodchild: I cloned everybody.
David Owens: Just because I have a dead, Mexican hooker in my room doesn't mean I went to Mexico.
Rose Feller: Why can't I just stay mad at you?
Maggie Feller: Because we're a pair. Like... Sonny and Cher.
Rose Feller: They broke up.
Maggie Feller: But they remained quite close.
Jim: I mean, I'm a fuck-up, but you're a goddam tragedy.
Kham: Where the hell is my elephant?
The Penguin: Agh! Dead guys don't do that.
Dracula: Not dead... UN-dead.
The Penguin: I think I need to UN-wet my pants.
Carl Denham: There are thousands of actresses out of work in this city. Somewhere out there is a woman born to play this role... A woman who will journey into the heart of the unknown... Toward a fateful meeting that changes everything.
Sara: Is it because you just don't understand the vagina? I'd be happy to draw you a chart.
Pepe the Prawn: Those of you who have Dark Side of the Moon, press play now.
Pinhead: Don't you think for a second you are not in danger.
Captain Stanley: Australia. What fresh hell is this?
Santa Claus: Looks like Grandpa got run over by a reindeer.
Thorkel: The Celt says that Jesus Christ never sleeps, that he walks amongst us.
Beowulf: Oh, that's all we need, a god gone mad from lack of sleep.