Alexsie Kutchinov: We have a saying in my country - don't blame the baker, when the butcher bakes the bread.
John Tuliver: What the hell does that mean?
Alexsie Kutchinov: It means you're fucked.
Sara: Is it because you just don't understand the vagina? I'd be happy to draw you a chart.
Georges Laurent: Isn't it lonely, if you can't go out?
Georges' Mom: Why? Are you less lonely because you can sit in the garden? Do you feel less lonely in the metro than at home? Well then! Anyway, I have my family friend... with remote control. Whenever they annoy me, I just shut them up.
Mrs. Lefkowitz: My son - 55 - still single.
Lewis Feldman: Gay?
Mrs. Lefkowitz: I wish - immature.
Catherine: I feel like I could crack open, like an egg, or one of those really smelly French cheeses that ooze when you cut them.
Gloria Goodfellow: Petey? Petey? Walter?
Reverend Walter Goodfellow: Ah, Gloria. This is Bob and Ted from the waterboard, we're just discussing the.
Gloria Goodfellow: Walter, where's Petey?
Reverend Walter Goodfellow: Oh Lord! Mrs Calloway called about her crisis of faith. She was on the verge of losing it.
Gloria Goodfellow: I know the bloody feeling.
Rachel Keller: All I ever tried to do for him was the right thing. It only ever made things worse.
Max Rourke: Then it wasn't the right thing, was it?
The Host: You dream is over! Your nightmare is about to begin.
Diane Petersen: You're tearing this family apart.
Sofia: If you have any objections, kindly go to hell.
Todd Jackson: You tell 'em.
Jonathan Cold: You see, in this business... the keys to the kingdom is weapons-grade plutonium. If you ain't got that, you ain't got shit.
Eric: Nice try, loser. Oh and by the way, a naked mole rat is not cool, it's gross.
Ron: Don't be dissing the Rufus.
Evil: Because when you point a finger at somebody else, you're pointing three at yourself and a thumb at the sky.
Coach Ken Carter: L came to coach basketball players, and you became students. L came to teach boys, and you became men.
Lanny Morris: Having to be a nice guy is the toughest job in the world when you're not.
Vinnie: I thought a great place to meet girls would be night school, you know, where they teach English as a second language. You know, because these girls would be from foreign lands and, you know, maybe still a little disoriented from the journey and I would look attractive because... I speak English very goodly. But in the end it did not work out as I had hoped, I mean, basically I was told to take a hike in fourteen languages.
Vladimir: My companion seems to be missing. I do not know what has become of him.
Dylan: Chill out guys, I've got something stashed that just might help.
Brian: Dylan, we don't have time to indulge in recreational activities.