Cole Burris: I'm so hungry, I'd sell my Grandmother for a tic tac.
Mrs. Sedley: I thought her a mere social climber, but now I see she's a mountineer.
Alice: My name...is Alice. And I remember everything.
Alex: Love makes you do crazy things, insane things, things in a million years you never thought you'd see yourself do. There you are doing it... can't help it.
Lola: The only thing I like more than money is... revenge.
Tommy Johnson: What else are you gonna do on a Saturday? Sit in your fuckin' armchair wankin' off to Pop Idols? Then try and avoid your wife's gaze as you struggle to come to terms with your sexless marriage? Then go and spunk your wages on kebabs, fruit machines and brasses? Fuck that for a laugh! I know what I'd rather do. Tottenham away, love it.
Count Olaf: I must say, you're a gloomy looking bunch. Why are you so glum?
Klaus Baudelaire: Our parents just died.
Count Olaf: [nonchalantly.] Ah, yes. How very dreadful. Wait, let me do that one more time. Give me the line again while it's fresh in my mind.
Klaus Baudelaire: Our parents just died?
[Olaf pretends to be shocked.].
Jack Byrnes: We use the Ferber method.
Bernie Focker: We use the Focker method. We hugged and kissed that little boy like there was no tomorrow. We Fockerized him.
Stevie: Are you okay?
Trevor Reznik: Don't I look okay?
Stevie: If you were any thinner, you wouldn't exist.
Lucas: Your other weakness is ME.
Madam Suliman: It's time to put an end to this idiotic war.
Dr. White: "Give me liberty or give me death." Patrick Henry, an American hero.
District commissioner #1: Apples and oranges.
Dr. White: In oranges and women courage is often mistaken for insanity.
Nate Johnson: Nikki, this better be FTD, cuz this Russian tail is old enough to be yo' grandaddy.
Nikki Johnson: Not mom's big daddy.
[A big grizzly bear has just appeared from the forest and is standing right in front of Tom, Dan and Jerry.]
Dan: What are you doing?
Jerry: I'm taking off my shoes.
Dan: Why?
Jerry: Because I run faster with no shoes.
Dan: You can't outrun that bear.
Jerry: I don't have to outrun the bear. I just have to outrun you.
Anna: I've met somebody who seems to be Sean... I really hoped that he was Sean. I wanted him to be Sean. But I knew he wasn't... The thing is, I'm falling in love with Sean again. That's what's happening. I need you to tell him to go away. Because I can't do it.
Ray: This place is full of fake tits and real assholes.
Ben Calder: Anna? Anna.
Anna Foster: Ben! Come on! Venice awaits! Where have you been?
Ben Calder: Just having a mild heart attack.
Francesca: You look like a slut. I like it.