Stepford Wife: I'm going to use a pinecone as the baby Jesus this year.
Bobbi Markowitz: And I'm going to attach a pinecone to my vibrator and have a really merry Christmas.
Count Olaf: I must say, you're a gloomy looking bunch. Why are you so glum?
Klaus Baudelaire: Our parents just died.
Count Olaf: [nonchalantly.] Ah, yes. How very dreadful. Wait, let me do that one more time. Give me the line again while it's fresh in my mind.
Klaus Baudelaire: Our parents just died?
[Olaf pretends to be shocked.].
Lucas: Your other weakness is ME.
Paul Rusesabagina: There will be no rescue, no intervention for us. We can only save ourselves. Many of you know influential people abroad, you must call these people. You must tell them what will happen to us... say goodbye. When you say goodbye, say it as if you are reaching through the phone and holding their hand. Let them know that if they let go of that hand, you will die. We must shame them into sending help.
Dr. White: "Give me liberty or give me death." Patrick Henry, an American hero.
District commissioner #1: Apples and oranges.
Dr. White: In oranges and women courage is often mistaken for insanity.
Anna: I've met somebody who seems to be Sean... I really hoped that he was Sean. I wanted him to be Sean. But I knew he wasn't... The thing is, I'm falling in love with Sean again. That's what's happening. I need you to tell him to go away. Because I can't do it.
Angelica: Rosalee, when great love is rejected something inside a man dies.
Neuter Grandmother on Bus: I seen you, Sylvia Stickles, showing your pubic patch to the bus driver. You should move downtown where you belong, you whore.
Madam Suliman: It's time to put an end to this idiotic war.
Garfield: Once again, my life has been saved by the miracle of lasagna.
Nate Johnson: Nikki, this better be FTD, cuz this Russian tail is old enough to be yo' grandaddy.
Nikki Johnson: Not mom's big daddy.
Francesca: You look like a slut. I like it.
Abe: Aaron, I can imagine no way in which this thing could be considered anywhere remotely close to safe. All I know is I spent six hours in there and I'm still alive... You still want to do it?
Clementine: You're not a stalker, or anything, right?
Joel: I'm not a stalker. YOU'RE the one that talked to me, remember?
Clementine: That is the oldest trick in the stalker book.
Joel: Really? There's a stalker book? Great, I gotta read that one.
Buck: Say, girls... got milk?
Uncle Max: I flinched, when I should have scurried.
Helen Harris: Pastor Dan just asked me out.
Audrey Davis: That is so weird.
Pastor Dan Parker: I can hear you. I'm still here. Go inside and do that.