Jake Shuttlesworth: I pray you understand why I pushed you so hard! It was only to get you to that next level, Son. I mean, you's the first Shuttlesworth that's ever gonna make it out of these projects, and I was the one who who put the ball in your hand, Son! I put the ball in your crib.
Claire: Where are you going?
Robert: Looks like I'm going nowhere.
Claire: Don't you fucking quote Star Wars at me.
Laura Franklin: Sky Atlantic 62, Phoenix Tower. Captain, you need to do a 360.
Pilot: Damn it tower, do you know it costs this airline two grand in fuel every time we circle?
Laura Franklin: Sky Atlantic 62, give me four thousand dollars worth.
Casey Wells: You know what they did in Ancient Rome when a visitor violated somebody's hospitality? They cut off his dick and they nailed it to the fucking gate!
Jan Schlichtmann: So what are you saying? You want to get out now and cut our losses, you want to get out now and throw away...? What was it?
James Gordon: 1.4 million dollars.
Jan Schlichtmann: Well, I don't know what to tell you because there's things I need to prove and I can't do that not spending money.
James Gordon: We have to go see uncle Pete.
Ryan Harrison: My head is spinning like a dreidel in a sandstorm.
Police Chief: This man apparantly wants to press charges against you. He said and I quote "you assaulted him and pushed him to the ground."
Victor Joseph: That's bullshit.
Police Chief: Mr Joseph there's no need for that type of language. Mr Johnson's wife Holly says he's, and I quote, "a complete asshole." So you two are free to go.
Mesh-Head: If I were you, I would run.
Buddy: If you were me, you'd be good-lookin'.
Jason: I guess he's still in the slammer.
Claudia: In the slammer?
Jason: Yeah, the sculptor across the way beat up his wife last night.
Claudia: You're kidding.
Antonio: Jason sicced the cops on him.
Claudia: Oh, so this isn't just cheap thrills. It's in the public interest.
Jason: Call me citizen voyeur.
Claudia: So, if he gonna come after you?
Jason: No, I don't think so. He doesn't know I called the cops, and I didn't give my name to 911.
Dr. Smith: Never trust anyone, especially me.