Happy Gilmore: I'm stupid. You're smart. I was wrong. You were right. You're the best. I'm the worst. You're very good-looking. I'm not attractive.
Romeo: Why then, O brawling love, O loving hate, O anything, of nothing first create! O heavy lightness, serious vanity, Misshapen chaos of well-seeming forms, Feather of lead, bright smoke, cold fire, sick health, Still-waking sleep, that is not what it is!
Hana: There's a man downstairs. He brought us eggs. He might stay.
Almásy: Why? Can he lay eggs?
Hana: He's Canadian.
Almásy: Why are people always so happy when they collide with someone from the same place? What happened in Montreal when you passed a man in the street? Did you invite him to live with you?
Anthony: You told, you told your friend Bernice I'm some kind of jet pilot?
Grace: What was I supposed to say, they stuck you in an insane asylum?
Anthony: It wasn't an insane asylum, Grace. I explained to you back then that it was for exhaustion.
Anthony: Yes, exhaustion.
Grace: You haven't worked a day in your life. How could you be exhausted?
Al: I'm proud of you Joe.
Joe MacGonaughgill: Why?
Al: You finally figured out the girl in your heart isn't the girl in your dreams. Some people don't figure it out all their lives.
Bess McNeill: I don't understand what you're saying. How can you love a word? You cannot love words. You can't be in love with a word. You can only love another human being. That's perfection.
Jack Taylor: This fish was a fox, and she had her own cookie too. But what a female dog. She shoved her fish in my face.
Dr. Martin: In front of the cookie?
Jack Taylor: What?
Dr. Martin: What is she doing with another fish anyways? What is she AC/DC?
Jack Taylor: What are you talking about?
Dr. Martin: Fish with other fish in front of cookies.
Jack Taylor: Fish. Fish fish.
Dr. Martin: Oh I see.
Bonnie: George Malley! You learned the Portuguese language in 20 minutes?
George Malley: Not all of it.
Teacher: All you need to say is two words... two specific words, though. What they are? 'Not. Guilty.'.
Andy: Sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll, hey ladies?
Vera: Aye, but we can do without the drugs and rock 'n' roll.