Oribe's Receptionist: Don't bother with the cute face. I have 5 sons. You make eyes at me like that, I make you pot roast.
Jack: You know what my mother used to say to me?
Melanie: Gee, no, what?
Jack: Love your guy like a little boy and he'll grow into a man.
Melanie: So she knew back then that you were gay?
Jack Taylor: Maggie, when you grow up and are incredibly beautiful and intelligent and possess a certain sweetness that's... that's like a distant promise to the brave, to the worthy, could you please not beat to a pulp every miserable bastard that comes your way simply because you can? Could you not do that?
Maggie Taylor: Okay Daddy.
Marla: I didn't know you had a daughter! She looks just like you.
Jack Taylor: Yeah, well, with any luck she'll grow out of it.
Melanie: If you don't want your balls juggled, don't throw them in my face.
Jack Taylor: This fish was a fox, and she had her own cookie too. But what a female dog. She shoved her fish in my face.
Dr. Martin: In front of the cookie?
Jack Taylor: What?
Dr. Martin: What is she doing with another fish anyways? What is she AC/DC?
Jack Taylor: What are you talking about?
Dr. Martin: Fish with other fish in front of cookies.
Jack Taylor: Fish. Fish fish.
Dr. Martin: Oh I see.
Melanie Parker: Let's do this right. Let me freshen up so I'll feel a little more like a woman and less like a dead mommy.
Jack: What would you do if I kissed you right now?
Melanie: You wouldn't kiss me.
Jack: But what would you do if I did?
Melanie: Do you wanna kiss me right now?
Jack: I wouldn't've mentioned it if didn't.
Melanie: Men like you have made me the woman I am.
Jack Taylor: All the women I know like you have made me think all women are like you.