Otto: Don't call me stupid.
Wanda: Oh, right, to call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people! I've known sheep that could outwit you. I've worn dress with higher IQ's. But you think you're an intellectual, don't you, ape?
Otto: Apes don't read philosophy.
Wanda: Yes they do, Otto, they just don't understand it. Now let me correct you on a couple things, okay? Aristotle was not Belgian. The central message of Buddhism is not "every man for himself." And the London Underground is not a political movement. Those are all mistakes, Otto, I looked them up.
Daisy: I fucked up.
Charles Gordon Windsor, Jr.: Yeah... but you gave it a 100% effort.
Elvira: I'd bend over backwards. I'd bend over forwards.
Jaime Escalante: Do you want me to do it for you?
Pancho: Yes.
Jaime Escalante: You're supposed to say no.
Tito: Hey, man, if this is torture, chain me to the wall.
Rib Joint Customer: Ya got any soda?
Hammer: One dollar.
Rib Joint Customer: Aw, c'mon, now! Look out for a brother, man, c'mon, yeah. Check this out: why don't you let me get a sip for fifteen cents?
Hammer: My cups cost more than fifteen cents.
Rib Joint Customer: All right, fuck the cup. Pour it in my hand for a dime.
Victor: I'm Lin. You Jackson? You look like a Jackson. That must make you Frank Ducks.
Frank Dux: No, it's DUX.
Victor: Oh, right, like put up your dukes.
Setsuko: Why do fireflies have to die so soon?
Mrs. Pell: If you're ever in Des Moines, don't send me a postcard.
Sadie Ratliff: You're in America now. Speak American.
Col. James Braddock: Walk or crawl, we're gonna make it.
Barry: Tell me something I-I'm curious. How do you dial a phone with a straitjacket on?
Ducky: The tree is talking.
Littlefoot: No it isn't.
Ducky: You should not eat talking trees. Nope, nope nope.