Tracy: When we get out of here, Joel's going to be carrying his balls home in a knapsack.
Chris: Remind me never to piss you off, Tracy.
Janet Cruise: It's ruined. It's totally ruined.
Eric Cruise: It wasn't me, mom! It was a little creature! I saw it.
Janet Cruise: The house is totally destroyed.
Eric Cruise: What do you want me to say?
Janet Cruise: I don't want you to say anything.
Vance: We do not want to end up with a low potassium level.
Pee-wee: Duh, Vance! You'd think I never went to agricultural junior college.
Wyatt Earp: It's all true, give or take a lie or two.
Martin Thiel: I love the rain... it washes everything away... makes it clean.
Stevie: And when she turned it on it shot that metal thing right up into her face, shot it up just like a gun. Isn't that bad? It shot it up right through her eyeball.
Peter Plunkett: All I wanted to be was happily useless, you made me miserably useless.
Angela: Too bad they haven't figured out a way to make french fries nutritious. I'm a nut when it comes to french fries.
Camille Claudel: You're wrong to think it's about you. You're a sculptor, Rodin, not a sculpture. You ought to know. I am that old woman with nothing on her bones. And the aging young girl... that's also me. And the man is me too. Not you. I gave him my toughness. He gave me his emptiness in return. There you are... three times me. The Holy Trinity, trinity of emptiness.
Garfield: Six must be my lucky number, because that was the life when I fell in love with music. I also fell in love with the girl who played the piano just for me.
Janis Zuckerman: I'm looking for a guy named Louie, fuzzy hair, crooked teeth, bug eyes. Has he been around lately?
Girl Punk: Suck shit through a tube.