Tatsuo Kusakabe: Trees and people used to be good friends. I saw that tree and decided to buy the house. Hope Mom likes it too. Okay, let's pay our respects then get home for lunch.
Donald Blake: He wants me to be more heroic, me.
Peter Loew: I'm a vampire! I'm a vampire! I'm a vampire.
Capt. Bartholomew Clark: Let's get the basic relationship down... I'm the lifeguard, you're the drowning man. If you relax, I can bring you to shore. If you fight me, then I'll have to slap you around.
Regine Dandrige: Let's talk about blood, Mr. Vincent, it's very precious to me.
Pop: That judge in the orange skirt... Make yer pee pee harder than a ten pound bag a' nickel jawbreakers, you know what I mean?
Vermeer: What do you think she meant when she said a huge black monster with giant claws?
Eric Visser: I don't know, but I hope your mother-in-law has an alibi.
Vermeer: UGH.
Wanda Saknussemm: Bitchin' left hook, Crassus.
Lorna: You are certifiable! What is this? Some sort of smart-ass joke? You're taking cooking?
Michael: I want to learn how to cook.
Lorna: Yeah, right. You have some burning desire to learn how to make apple brown betty.
Michael: What are you doing here if you think so highly of it?
Lorna: Well, they wouldn't let me take auto mechanics, and I didn't have time to take the issue to the Supreme Court.
Lt. Nikolai: You lied to me General.
General Vortek: I sent you on a mission... to help an oppresed people.
Lt. Nikolai: But you didn't tell me who the oppressors were, did you?
General Vortek: Nikolai... you were, SPETZNATS.
Lt. Nikolai: I AM SPETZNAS... but I'm no longer one of you.
Colonel: This is our coordinator, Maj. Murphy Black. Multi-decorated field officer, better known as "Killzone."
Mascher: Why do they have nicknames?
Colonel: You should know what the group is called. "BAM."
Mascher: BAM?
Colonel: Big Ass Motherfuckers.
Babcock: I've got a gun.
Charlie Harrison: I've got a fishing rod. Lets go camping.