Lee Butters: You have the right to remain silent. So shut the fuck up. You have the right to an attorney. If you can't afford an attorney, we will provide you with the dumbest fucking lawyer on Earth. If you hire Johnny Cochrane, I'll kill you!
Turk: Do you like poetry?
Charles Randall: Yeah, I do. Roses are red, violets are blue. I wanna poke your fucking eyes out with my dick, you fuck.
Melody: I didn't get your name.
Lightfoot: Well, I didn't give it to ya'. My name is Lightfoot.
Lightfoot: That's right.
Melody: That's a dumb name. I mean, what kind of person would name a kid that, ya' know?
Lightfoot: What's your name?
Lightfoot: "Melody"? That's not a dumb name?.. Hey, maybe we had the same father?
Santino D'Antonio: John... you know what I think? I think you are addicted to it. To the vengeance! No wife. No life. No home... Vengance... it's all you have.
Everest: Hey... you see that badge? That means I'm a health care professional. But that knowledge goes both ways. So if you tell anybody about The Artemis... I will hunt you down and unheal the shit out of you. (00:12:25)
Eddie Vogel: How's it hanging, counselor?
Mick Haller: A little to the left.
Vanessa: Ho-ly shit! Well look who got beaten with the ugly stick. Bob, is that you? My God, I can't believe such an itty bitty gun could make such a big mess out of someone! You are so ugly Bob! Oh and hey I heard you have one of those poop bags where the shit comes out the side, you're just a big old shitbag aren't you Bob! I hope you think of me every time you shit in that thing, motherfucker!