Tony Montana: I always tell the truth. Even when I lie.
Steve: Beer for breakfast there, Two-Bit?
Dakota: How would you like to bite that in the butt, develop lockjaw, and be dragged to death?
Harry Callahan: We're not just going to let you walk out of here.
Crook: Who's "we", sucker?
Harry Callahan: Smith, and Wesson, and me.
Little Enos: I'd like to kick your ass.
Buford T. Justice: You can't kick that high, cricket crotch.
Col. F.E. Cochrane: You threatening me, Murphy?
Frank Murphy: No, I'm telling you. Back off.
Nigel Pennington-Smythe: What are you doing?
Illya Kuryakin: Trying to get an explosive cap out of my boot heel, so I can blast the pipe apart so we can get out of here.
Nigel Pennington-Smythe: Why would they put the explosive cap in your shoe? You'll never get it with us hanging by these handcuffs from the pipe. You'd think somebody would have thought of a better spot to put it.
Illya Kuryakin: Well, that's progress I guess?
Viking Lofgren: Hey, lipshitz.
Horowitz: The name is Horowitz, asshole.
Viking Lofgren: Horowitz asshole?
Paco Moreno: I heard it was lipshitz.
Viking Lofgren: Yeah, and if your lip shits, what's your asshole doin'?
Judy: Your little walkie talkies... have gone walkies.
Salvatore Licuti: Let me remind you! This organization is like a... like a house. I'm a brick, he's a brick, and you're a brick. Remove one brick, one brick... the house falls down.
Superior Court Judge Steven R. Hardin: The law. Nothing is right or wrong! It's either the law or its not the law. Well, we got a problem here, because it's not working anymore. It turns out that right and wrong count.
Irina Asanova: KGB have better cars, you know.
Arkady Renko: Ah, but they don't always take you where you want to go, do they?
Carl 'Buster' Marzack: I'm getting too old for this shit.
Countess Chandra: Darling?
Chief Insp. Jacques Clouseau: Yes, my darling?
Countess Chandra: You're smoking the wrong end.
Chief Insp. Jacques Clouseau: Yes... I knew that. You don't have to tell me I am smoking zhe wrong end. Do you know why I am smoking zhe wrong end?
Countess Chandra: No darling, but I'm sure you've got a very good reason.
Chief Insp. Jacques Clouseau: You're right! I am smoking on zhe wrong end, because I have a very good reason.