Samantha James: You and I are gonna be the greatest musical manager team since Jessica Simpson and her father only you and I get to "mreow" and they can't, 'cause it's illegal. I looked it up.
Samantha James: Wait a minute, am I being Punk'D? Oh my god! Ashton, you really got me! Ha Ha! Ashton! Ashton?
Samantha James: But I'm not ready for a gig.
Chris: Of course you are.
Samantha James: No... no. No! This is a bad idea Chris.
Chris: God I am so stupid.
Samantha James: No you aren't baby.
Chris: Here I am trying to make you into an artist when you're just a pop bubblegum sensation. But that's okay. Paris, here we come.
Samantha James: But I am an artist... I am an artist... Hey! I am an artist.
Chris: Good. You ready to do this?
Samantha James: I was born ready bitch.
Jane F.: They say that true potheads stops getting the munchies after a certain point. I mean the true pothead wouldn't even say the word munchies. I don't know what the true pothead would say."munchos" or "hungries" or something. At any rate, I still love to eat when I'm high. So fuck you if you're too cool to get hungry when you're stoned. My free one years supply of Dr. Bjorns. Neat huh?
Roscoe Lee Browne: Here's what Jane really said.
Jane F.: You think you're so... uhmm... uhh... jesus! Then you go on and on and on about this and that and all this other bullshit! And all I gotta say is fuck MAN! This situation is totally fucked! With a capital! I mean... Have you ever... Do you like even... DO you? You tell your people that.
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