Quotes from Anna Faris movies and TV shows

April: Uh, Jessica has a... problem.
Ling Ling: She's only going to make us wait an hour this time.
Lulu: What about the class trip to Six Flags. She took so long in the bathroom we missed the bus.
Ling Ling: Our parents had to drive three hours to pick us up.
Jessica (Clive): I had my period, OK.

April: Ok, let's make a list of all the people that hate Jessica.
Lulu: You know what would be a shorter list? All the people that don't hate Jessica.
Jessica: You bitch.

Samantha James: It's all right, I like other girls. Darla.

Clark: We're married.
Chris: Married?
Samantha James: Married.
Darla: We have a son, his name is TJ.
Samantha James: TJ.

Samantha James: But I'm not ready for a gig.
Chris: Of course you are.
Samantha James: No... no. No! This is a bad idea Chris.
Chris: God I am so stupid.
Samantha James: No you aren't baby.
Chris: Here I am trying to make you into an artist when you're just a pop bubblegum sensation. But that's okay. Paris, here we come.
Samantha James: But I am an artist... I am an artist... Hey! I am an artist.
Chris: Good. You ready to do this?
Samantha James: I was born ready bitch.

Samantha James: Whoopsie! I'm naked.

Samantha James: God, I wanna lick your skin off.
Chris: I'd prefer you didn't.

Samantha James: You and I are gonna be the greatest musical manager team since Jessica Simpson and her father only you and I get to "mreow" and they can't, 'cause it's illegal. I looked it up.

Samantha James: Wait a minute, am I being Punk'D? Oh my god! Ashton, you really got me! Ha Ha! Ashton! Ashton?

Ronnie Barnhardt: Are you all right?
Brandi: Physically yes, but psychologically? No!

Molly: What's a pervert?
Kate: Nothing.
Molly: Can I have one?

Cindy: Oh my god, Brenda, we're gonna die!
Brenda: Well, it would have just been you if you had just shut the fuck up.

Cindy: Something weird is going on at your farm. I know it.
George: I don't know what you're talking about. Sometimes a sheep just needs to be pushed through the fence.

Brenda Meeks: There's something I need to tell you. I saw a tape. I think you should know about it. It had these really shocking images, Cindy.
Cindy: Brenda, it was Mardi Gras, I never drank vodka before, and I was out of beads!
Brenda Meeks: No, not that tape, Cindy.

Cindy: I'm looking for something more than just good sex.
Brenda Meeks: I know. You want commitment.
Cindy: No, I want great sex.

Tom: What's wrong? You look scared.
Cindy: Oh, nothing. It's just-[sighs.] There's something going on in this house. Last night, I saw a face.
Tom: Did it have a nose?
Cindy: Yes.
Tom: That does sound like a face.

Jane F.: It's really bright out, officer.
Officer Jones: Would you mind removing your hand from your forehead?
Jane F.: It's really bright out.

Roscoe Lee Browne: Here's what Jane really said.
Jane F.: You think you're so... uhmm... uhh... jesus! Then you go on and on and on about this and that and all this other bullshit! And all I gotta say is fuck MAN! This situation is totally fucked! With a capital! I mean... Have you ever... Do you like even... DO you? You tell your people that.

Jane F.: They say that true potheads stops getting the munchies after a certain point. I mean the true pothead wouldn't even say the word munchies. I don't know what the true pothead would say."munchos" or "hungries" or something. At any rate, I still love to eat when I'm high. So fuck you if you're too cool to get hungry when you're stoned. My free one years supply of Dr. Bjorns. Neat huh?

Officer Jones: What's your name?
Jane F.: Uh... Christy?
Officer Jones: You don't sound too sure of that.
Jane F.: No, it's Christy.
Officer Jones: Well, Christy... How come your friend just called you Jane a second ago?
Jane F.: Jane's uhh... my... religious... name?