Denise Dahlberg: Phones working?
Stephen Klein: Are you kidding? There aren't going to be any phones.
Lt. Mauser: Any day now, Mahoney, and your little ass is mine.
Mahoney: You wanted to see me, sir?
Lt. Mauser: Mahoney, didn't your mother teach you how to knock?
Mahoney: It depends. Sir? I hope this isn't going to be too personal? I heard what you said about my little butt and I don't know how to break this to you, sir, but I'm straight.
Cadet Karen Adams: You see this ear, Mahoney? It's a finely tuned crap detector.
Sgt. Carey Mahoney: Oh, and what a lovely ear it is. If I blow in it, will you follow me anywhere?
Michael Kellam: How can something so small create so much of something so disgusting?
Peter: Beats the shit out of me.