Sidney Young: I sent the fish, you know, goldfish in a bowl. Did she get them?
Sophie Maes' Assistant: Yes, but they were dead.
Sidney Young: All of them?
Sophie Maes' Assistant: Yeah, it was kind of shocking actually! Were they dead when you send them?
Sidney Young: No no, who sends people dead fish?
Sophie Maes' Assistant: The Mafia?
Rincewind: That's old Twoflower for you. He just appreciates beauty in his own way. I mean, if a poet sees a daffodil, he stares at it and then writes a long poem. But Twoflower would wander off and buy a book on botany, and then as he reads it he would tread on the daffodil.
Josh: Oh, grandpa fell asleep again.
Timm: No, he's dead.
Policier: Central to Unit 27. Jean-Claude Van Damme's robbing a post office. I need back-up.
Sameer's Mother: There are things you must do with women that you cannot do with men.
Suit: I'm betting beard.
Ben: What kind of remark is that? People's livelihood are at stake.
Suit: Make a note, a producer with a conscience.
Narrator: When your heart breaks it can grow back crooked. It grows back twisted and gnarled and hard.
Stephen: Can I get a 'wow'?
Matt Gadman: Hey, uh, Uncle Rob?
Robert 'Fish' Fishman: No, I will not buy beer for you and your friends, nor will I lend you my password to porn sites.
Maurice: It's oaky... Oh, yeah, and smoky. I detect... bacon fat... laced with honey melon.
Titanius Anglesmith: Prepare for a surprise attack.
Larry: I'm gonna shove that BlackBerry up where it's gonna be a BrownBerry.
Ian Hamilton: On that day I heard the voice of Scotland speak as loudly as it did in 1320. As long as a hundred of us remain alive, we shall never give in to the domination of the English. We fight not for glory, not for wealth, nor honors, but only and alone for freedom, which no good man surrenders but with his life.
Bender: Don't hurt me! I'll betray anyone.
Mike: You have to let go of everything... in order to move on.
Man-gil: The bounty on your head is 300 won.
Yoon Tae-goo: What? I'm only worth a piano?
Man-gil: A used one at that.
Abby: I don't know anything about love. Every time I feel it, it's gone, it disappears and all I have left is pain and sadness.
Sam Landis: Let me guess. You finally want to start that boy band you've been dreaming about.
Principal Jared T. Kirkpatrick: Landis, do I come down to the strip club where you work and knock the dick out of your mouth? Against the wall. You're late.
Flynn Carsen: Well, I have dated older women before but uh, dead is new to me.
Edgar Frog: Let's get one thing straight, I hate fucking vampires.