Carl Colt: [Enters betting shop.] Twenty pounds to win, Ajay Bhatt.
Vijay: Hold on, isn't he playing your brother?
Bookmaker: You should be ashamed of yourself.
Carl Colt: Yeah, but curiously, I'm not.
Caterine Vauban: The woods are hopeless. Don't waste your time, they will be destroyed. So will the marsh. It is a losing game mankind has played for more than a century. Sadness is what you are, do not deny it. The universe is a lonely place, a painful place. This is what we can share between us, period.
Drew Latham: Please! Please, let me stay here.
Tom Valco: No.
Drew Latham: I'll pay you.
Tom Valco: My family's not for sale, pal.
Drew Latham: I'll pay you $250,000.
Tom Valco: Welcome home, son.
Alfie: I felt I needed a friend to talk to. But as it was, they were suddenly in short supply.
Carla: Girlfriends, big or small, thin or fat, worship that body, it's the only one you've got.
Lalita Bakshi: You should be stirring your husband's dinner not trouble.
Jack: Are you still seeing that shrink?
Miles Raymond: I saw him on Monday. I spent most of the time helping him with his computer.
Jack: Well, I say, fuck therapy. And what is that stuff you take... Xanax?
Miles Raymond: And Lexapro, yes.
Jack: Well, I say, fuck that too. You need to get your joint worked on, Miles.
Scott: "To catch a husband is an art. To hold him is a job." - Simone de Beauvoir.
Walt Wagner: Maybe you should go back to your shrink... Discuss it.
Hobie: He just recommended Prozac. I think he has stock in the company, honestly.
John Henry 'Jack' Armstrong: What is that?
Alex Guerrero: It's a turkey baster. You're not poking that thing inside me, I don't do dick.
Fatima Goodrich: Don't look at me, I want it the old fashioned way.
Sing: No soccer.
Ramtha: Do I think you're bad? I don't think you're bad. Do I think you're good? I don't think you're good either. I think you're God.
Melissa: Your outfit is... um.
Tommy Warshaw: Orange?
Melissa: Really orange.
Samantha Mackenzie: I'm the devil, See?
Penny Travis: Is there such a thing as the human heart, now there's the better question.
Tim Travis: Well, if you listen closely, you can hear 'em breaking.
Damian Cunningham: I thought it was from God... who else would have that kind of money?
Mark Wiener: People always end up the way they started out. No one ever changes. They think they do, but they don't. If you're the depressed type now, that's the way you'll always be. If you're the mindless, happy type, that's the way you'll be when you grow up. You might lose some weight, your face might clear up, get a body tan, a breast enlargement, a sex change - makes no difference. Essentially... from in front, or from behind... whether you're thirteen or fifty, you'll always be the same.
John Ambrose Fauntroy: Dear friends, the colored is not ready for freedom. To free him is to make him an orphan. Liberty would be a great curse to the race.