Francesca: You look like a slut. I like it.
[A big grizzly bear has just appeared from the forest and is standing right in front of Tom, Dan and Jerry.]
Dan: What are you doing?
Jerry: I'm taking off my shoes.
Dan: Why?
Jerry: Because I run faster with no shoes.
Dan: You can't outrun that bear.
Jerry: I don't have to outrun the bear. I just have to outrun you.
Gus: Wait a minute. If we're in prison, then our parents can't ground us, right?
Daryl Isaacs: You're sick, and you're making yourself sick, and you can make yourself unsick by stopping doing what you're doing.
Damian Cunningham: I thought it was from God... who else would have that kind of money?
Dirk: No, I'm not an asshole. I'm just young, dumb and full - What the fuck? Something just brushed up against my leg.
Jenny: Oh, my God! What is it?
Dirk: No. There's seriously something down here. Oh, no, wait! It's just my gigantic cock.
Penny Travis: Is there such a thing as the human heart, now there's the better question.
Tim Travis: Well, if you listen closely, you can hear 'em breaking.
Samantha Mackenzie: I'm the devil, See?
Bart: You know, you really had me scared for a moment there.
Ollie: Awww, who knew. All these years you were nursing a little stage fright.
Bart: Not that, smart-ass.
Greg: That's right, I quit too.
Tina Hammersmith: Greg you'll lose your cheerleading scholarship.
Greg: That's right, I'm stayin here! But under a cloud of shame.
Mr. Rad: Get yo' head up. You lost the money, it's gone. But, you can't lay around in yo' misery too long. Do not walk outta' this place and start to second guess yo' talent. You got yo' ass whooped tonight. But, I done seen y'all whoop a many a ass, right in the same place. Now, you lost. Lemme tell you somethin' my father told me, is: "If it don't kill you, it makes you stronger." Remember that.
Paige: Sometimes I wish I could just fast forward the next five years.
Beth: I hate it when she starts to talk about her life plan.
Drew Latham: Please! Please, let me stay here.
Tom Valco: No.
Drew Latham: I'll pay you.
Tom Valco: My family's not for sale, pal.
Drew Latham: I'll pay you $250,000.
Tom Valco: Welcome home, son.
Gawain MacSam: Would you tell this muthafucka he can sew this shit back on? It's like that dude whose wife cut his dick off, threw it on the freeway? She just called Triple A, they towed the dick and sewed the muthafucka back on. Listen up, jackass, I saw the muthafucka in a porno, the thang still worked, it looked like a chewed-up frank, but that little muthafucka be workin' that muthafucka. It's mangly, but he be fuckin' the bitch all kind of ways with a twisted dick.
George W. Bush: Sure a dictatorship would be easier.
John Ambrose Fauntroy: Dear friends, the colored is not ready for freedom. To free him is to make him an orphan. Liberty would be a great curse to the race.
Andrew Largeman: You changed my life. You changed my life, and I've known you four days. This is the start of something really big, but right now, I gotta go.
Carla: Girlfriends, big or small, thin or fat, worship that body, it's the only one you've got.
Ramtha: Do I think you're bad? I don't think you're bad. Do I think you're good? I don't think you're good either. I think you're God.